913: CONFIDENCE. (How to address it, how to borrow it, and how to BUILD IT!)

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Hey, what is up?

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Welcome to this episode of the Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.

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As always, I'm your host, brian LoFermento, and in this Solo Sunday episode, we're talking about something that I don't know if we've actually ever directly talked about here on this podcast, and that is, quite simply, confidence.

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Whether you are feeling very confident or not at all confident in your entrepreneurial journey, this is something we've all got to confront.

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I'm super excited about this one.

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Let's dive in, all right.

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So you all know, in the past I've done episodes that were inspired either by a tweet that I saw or a Reddit post that I saw, and this is one that I screenshotted a few weeks ago, thinking that I saw.

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And this is one that I screenshotted a few weeks ago, thinking, holy cow, I've never seen someone articulate this entrepreneurial feeling as well as this one person did, and I screenshotted it.

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I saw it, I screenshotted it and then it just ended up in my phone's photo roll and I had to really go hunting for this one, because it has lived in my head rent free.

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And I've been so excited to talk about it here on the air because it is something that I don't think we talk about enough openly, not only just in entrepreneurial circles, but in societal circles.

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We've obviously embraced the fact that we need to all invest in our mental health and wellness, but one thing that we don't often talk about is confidence, and so a big shout out in today's episode to an amazing entrepreneur.

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I will say, once I saw his post on Reddit, I went deep down the rabbit hole of all of the things that this amazing entrepreneur has been building, and I first came across his post in the Y Combinator subreddit.

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And this entrepreneur because I do want to give him full credit and a big shout out his name is Sina.

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His last name I don't know how to pronounce it, I think it's Miraji, but Sina Miraji.

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He is the founder of Learning Loop, which is a productivity software and a community for tech founders going from $10,000 to a million dollars a year.

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And I'll tell you what.

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He doesn't just say it.

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He actually puts together some truly unbelievable entrepreneurs who are committed to doing some really impactful work on the planet, just like Sina himself is doing with Learning Loop as a productivity software.

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So lots of cool things.

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If you do want to go check out more of his work and his thoughts, look them up.

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His business website is at learningloopcom.

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We're going to link to that down below in the show notes, as well as a link to his personal LinkedIn, because I think it's incredible the things that he's putting into the world and how he actually shares his entrepreneurial thoughts.

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So now that I've given credit and given him the very deserved kudos, let me read to you the post that I saw him make on Reddit.

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So it says here's the quote I'm just going to read for the next minute.

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It says starting a startup can feel like a war on your confidence.

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It makes you realize that most of your confidence is borrowed and not actually yours.

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Confidence can be borrowed from the past, organizations, groups, institutions that you were or you are a part of, from family corporations, employers, schools and institutions, etc.

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Think about this Months or years of building something new from family corporations, employers, schools and institutions, etc.

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Think about this Months or years of building something new from scratch with or for a small number of people, where, every day, most people outside of your startup either tell you you're wrong or they remain quiet and say nothing.

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Hardly any great jobs, probably rightly so.

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While you're pre-results, how do you keep going?

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Should you keep going?

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Sina explains.

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That's the end of the quote and I might read that again for you in just a second or I'll refer back to it.

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But Sina goes on to talk about some of the ways that he's found in his own entrepreneurial journey to remain on that path.

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Because that's a big question to leave off, I'm only giving you a teaser.

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Definitely click through and read the full post down from the show notes.

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But he asks how do you keep going?

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Should you keep going?

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But that point that he made about confidence being borrowed in all of our previous lives, looking backwards, before our entrepreneurial journeys, we've always leaned on that confidence that we get from so many other affiliations and associations.

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Think about it.

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When we are in our senior year of high school, where's the confidence come from?

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When people say, hey, where are you going to be going to school in the fall, if you got into the school of your choice, you lean on that institution's confidence and that gives you confidence.

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But it's not your confidence, it's confidence in the institution.

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It's pride in the fact that you got accepted and you're going to be a student there.

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When we work for others, it's actually before I talk about working for others.

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I notice that, even when I obviously a lot of you know that I consult with and I've got equity in a lot of other different companies and different industries, and that's part of being an entrepreneur for 16 years is just, I've built up these relationships and these connections and these people that I'm so grateful to be a part of their growth journey and to help them grow.

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And it's always funny for me because when I walk into those companies I realize I walk in with a lot of confidence in their offer.

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I walk in with a lot of confidence that when I brag about all these amazing other companies that I get to work with is I can brag about them for days and if you ask me to go sell their product or service or whatever it may be to somebody else, I can talk about it with a ton of confidence because I have confidence in that other company and I think we all do.

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If you work in a nine to five job let's say you have a sales position for Verizon what are you leaning on when you go up and you even if it's something as scary as cold knocking on a door, you're just going door to door sales.

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Are you knocking on that door saying, oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm doing.

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I don't know what I'm going to say.

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I don't know what my script is going to be.

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Yes, there's part of it, but you know what slightly bails you out and gives you the confidence to actually go knock on that door is that on your chest you've got a logo that they recognize.

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It says Verizon.

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It doesn't say Brian or Susan, whatever your name is, doesn't say that you are leaning on and maybe hiding behind another institution that you yourself have confidence in and you know that the recipient has some level of confidence or at least recognition of that thing.

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Well, unfortunately, to Sina's point in this post that he made in the Y Combinator subreddit, when we start our own business, we cannot rely on that whatsoever.

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When we go talk to people, they've never heard of the thing before because of course, we are creating it.

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We literally create things from scratch.

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That is such a uniquely entrepreneurial endeavor, something that is amazing, and huge kudos to every single entrepreneur worldwide that creates things, that builds things, that launches things into the world that are meant to serve others.

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That's amazing, but it also comes with this downside of the lack of confidence in that thing, because we're so used to that.

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I love that Sina articulated it this way that borrowed confidence from other organizations, groups, institutions that we were a part of the family, the corporations, the employers, the schools, all of those things that we've previously been a part of.

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But now we are standing on our own two feet and of course that's scary.

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Of course you don't have confidence at all times, and it's something that I know every single one of us feels.

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I know it.

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We not only feel it at the beginning, we feel it every time someone says, hey, what do you do for a living?

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And we have to answer that question.

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And we haven't perfected our elevator pitch just yet.

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It's something that we're always confronted with and, of course, over time, we start to gain that confidence and, as Sina so politely pointed out, once we start getting results, of course those results then start to give us confidence.

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But we need to find that confidence really early on, without the ability to borrow it from others.

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And so, when I think back of the 16 years that I've been an entrepreneur at this point in my life, I started when I was 19 years old and when I was 19 and I started my soccer blog, it felt really silly saying that to other people.

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I felt really silly saying I have a soccer blog.

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I felt even sillier when they would say what's the name of it?

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And I would say Premiership Talk.

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And I felt silly because guess what?

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I know they haven't heard of it.

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It was always embarrassing when they would say what's the name of it?

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I'd say Premiership Talk.

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And they'd say, oh, I've never heard of it.

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Great, gee, thanks.

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I know I'm just building it Like come on, but it was just a constant reminder that nobody knows what I'm doing.

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Nobody has any idea what this company is.

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Now did I say it with a heck of a lot more confidence?

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You know, three years later, when we had three and a half million visitors from around the world visiting us and we were named by the English Football Association as the fan's favorite football blog and I was flying to England to interview players and managers, yes, that all gave me confidence.

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But I had to ride that early wave of either manufacturing or finding or tricking myself into believing I have confidence.

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You know that whole fake it till you make it cliche that we say in entrepreneurial circles.

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But what I really want to talk about today is just be real with yourself about this situation.

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That's why I think Sina deserves a world of credit for the way that he just said.

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You know what I'm thinking about.

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These things.

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Let me publicize them to the world, because when we start to gain that level of awareness, then, and only then, can we start to actually do something about it.

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Think about all the amazing conversations with amazing, incredible entrepreneurs that we have here on this show and I'm so fortunate to have these incredible entrepreneurs as guests every Monday, wednesday, Friday for you.

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And it just seems to me, like so often when I ask them, whatever their specialty is, whether they're great at marketing or mindset or psychology or sales or you name it and I asked them how can we start getting better?

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All of these conversations keep coming back to.

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Well, it starts with awareness, first things first, you got to be real and you got to take inventory and you need to understand your current state so that we can start working towards our ideal state.

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And so Sina's post on Reddit I know that for myself and for everybody else who came across it, and hopefully I can echo this to thousands of you all over the world here on this episode today it really calls us to look inward and start to gain that level of awareness.

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And when we have that awareness, we can start to do something about it.

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And so for me, when I think back to my days of being a 19-year-old brand new entrepreneur nobody in my family had been an entrepreneur up to that point.

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I didn't know any other entrepreneurs.

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I was in business school.

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Everyone wanted those golden handcuffs, all those cliche nine-to-fives working at Goldman Sachs or Merrill Lynch or any of those big financial companies.

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I grew up in Boston.

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I went to school in Boston.

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That's what we all dreamed of was all the companies we see in Boston and in New York City.

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That's what everyone's aiming for.

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And so here I was, running a soccer blog.

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And in hindsight, when I think about my growing confidence and what got me through those earlier phases, I just knew that I needed to feel real in some way.

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And so I was always Googling, like how to set up a real business.

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That's those are.

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That's a real search that I used to do all the time.

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And I saw, for example, step one.

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It said like get an EIN from the IRS website.

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And so I got an EIN.

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Did I need an IRN?

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No, I wasn't a business.

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I had no revenue at that time, I just had a soccer blog.

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But I got an EIN.

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It was free, it took about five minutes to do online and it was really cool.

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The IRS gave me this.

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I had this PDF that said Premiership Talk.

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I saw those words on the paper, assigned with an EIN, an Employer Identification Number.

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That made me feel legit.

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That at least gave me a little bit of boost of confidence.

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Seeing that the IRS recognized Premiership Talk made me in turn feel like, hey, maybe this is a little bit more legit than it was when I just started PremiershipTalkblogspotcom.

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Getting my domain that's another example.

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Getting that domain, that made me feel legit.

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Having an email address Brian at PremiershipTalkcom that made me feel a little bit more legit.

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All of these tiny steps started building up that confidence that I couldn't borrow from having a job or having an employer that people have heard of.

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I was honest with myself that, hey, doing these things before I need to and before I feel ready, they're going to start to give me more confidence.

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I will never, ever in my entire life literally I will never forget the day that I went to Main Street, waltham, massachusetts that's the town that I went to college in.

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I drove in my car to a citizen's bank, which was a local credit union on Main Street, waltham, massachusetts, and I had my EIN paper in hand from the IRS and I had an appointment with one of their bankers to open a business checking account.

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Now why did I need to open a business checking account?

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I didn't.

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I had made $200 up to that point, to be completely honest with you, and I had no idea where the next $200 was going to come from.

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But I did know that taking that step, getting that boost in confidence, just feeling a little bit more legit, would give me that internal confidence and make me feel even better about saying you know what this is real.

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This is a business.

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It has a business checking account.

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Now I'm really going to grow this thing.

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And so I was so nervous walking into that bank as a 19 year old, wondering if that banker was going to take me seriously.

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And sure enough, he asked me for my EIN and he asked me for some other information my website.

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We went to it together.

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I showed him the cool things I was working on.

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He probably was cringing in hindsight, but I walked out of there with a checking account with $200 in it that day, and that was the start of me gaining that confidence and it did a world of wonders for me, and I knew it would, because I knew that I was struggling internally every time.

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I had to say those words out loud and seeing it on paper from the IRS, seeing it on paper on bank statements, it started to give me that confidence.

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And so today's episode is not just about hey, go get an EIN, go get a bank account.

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I wish it was that easy to fix this.

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But today's episode, really, I want to share these incredible insights and public thoughts from an amazing entrepreneur like Sina.

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I want to share these with you because I hope this is the start of your awareness journey and I hope it's the start of your confidence journey, because only you can answer these questions for yourself.

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For me, it was getting an EIN and getting a business bank account.

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And then fast forward a year later and, using LegalZoom, I got an LLC.

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And boy, did I pay extra for their physical, printed and bound LLC binder thing that they upsold you on.

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Did I need it?

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No, but I will tell you, seeing that thing sitting on my living room table, in my dorm room, it gave me that extra boost of confidence every day that I'm legit and no one can take it from me because this is real, this is on records, this is a real thing and that's why I'm going to keep building it.

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For me it was that, but for you it's allowed to be anything, if you.

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I can relate to this as well, because I started an agency upon graduation and part of what I struggled with in the confidence there was I have no results to show anyone.

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I know that I'm good, but I can't show anyone else that I'm good, and so I just acknowledged I need to go do something, I need to have a project that I can point to, that I can talk to.

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So it's not about like, hey, here's all the things I could theoretically, hypothetically, do to help you, but look at this, I've helped this other real person, this other real business, this other real project.

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This is what I've actually done and I can attach my name with that and I can yes, I can borrow some confidence from that project and speak towards that, and that's perfectly okay.

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That I was doing a few free projects that gave me confidence.

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And so today's really an open invitation to give yourself that grace, give yourself carte blanche to ask what would give me confidence right now, where am I struggling when people ask me questions, where do I feel like I go into a shell a little bit and what can I do to paper over those cracks?

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And maybe, just maybe, what can I do to borrow some confidence from something that I have a little bit more confidence in?

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Maybe it means you go do a free project.

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I don't typically recommend that.

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A lot of our guests don't recommend that.

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But I'll tell you what.

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When we talk about it in the context of confidence, it is recommended Go do it If it gives you that, it's well worth it in the long run.

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Of course you don't want to abuse it.

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Of course it's not sustainable if you actually want to grow a real business.

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But confidence is a real thing and we need to start talking about it more.

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We need to start thinking about it more.

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We need to start giving it.

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We just really have to pull down the charade and just be totally raw and vulnerable and say, yeah, I don't have confidence.

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In this way, I shy away from when people ask me this specific question.

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I'm going to go do this and it's about time.

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I'm going to start either papering over or building the real confidence or borrowing the confidence so that I can overcome this obstacle, this thing that I'm avoiding, this thing that's holding me back.

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So huge kudos and a huge shout out to Sina once again for not just thinking this, not just having that awareness and the intelligence and the recognition of what was going on in his own head, but also the fact that he recognized this is a naturally human experience, a natural entrepreneurial experience, and then, finally, that he also went to share it with all of us.

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He shared it with the world.

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He took the time to not just keep it to himself but to write it down, to hit publish on Reddit and to share it with us.

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And I hope I can do his thought thread just a little bit of justice and amplify and echo it to all of our worldwide audience, which I'm so grateful for.

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So this episode is not about me.

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It's not about Sina although huge shout out to him once again.

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It's about you.

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It's about every single one of us individually being honest and vulnerable with ourselves, about that confidence and going and getting it or building it, or borrowing it or creating it, so that we can move forward confidently in the direction of our dreams.

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That's it for me in today's episode.

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This was a fun one, because I always love seeing incredible entrepreneurs being incredible contributors to the greater society and the community that we as entrepreneurs it's.

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One of the founding principles behind this show is that a rising tide lifts all boats, so I'm so grateful to amplify and echo the great voices and great minds that are out there.

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So, again, I grateful to amplify and echo the great voices and great minds that are out there.

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So, again, I just want to drop that link one more time to seen as business learning loopcom.

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You'll find a video of him.

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You'll see how personable he is and he gives examples of the community that he's built.

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So don't do this stuff alone.

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Make sure you pound that subscribe button.

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We're going to be right back every single week, as always, every Monday, wednesday, friday, saturday and Sunday, and this week I love the energy of all of the guests that we're bringing on the air.

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You are in for such a real treat.

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Tomorrow we are joined by the amazing Jackie Neimer.

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She is going to be talking all about balancing life, business, family, while rehumanizing the workplace.

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Her business is called People Conduit, so it just shows you how much of an emphasis she puts on people, and I think that fits in right in with today's episode.

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On Wednesday, we've got the very, very excitable and passionate Yubin Kim, who you're going to see how he recognized something that gosh.

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We're going in the wrong direction here, societally.

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Let me be part of the change, let me be part of the solution, using technology, using AI, in a really powerful and, yes, personable way to bring people together in real life.

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You're going to hear about the amazing business that he's building in Wednesday's episode.

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And then Tim Bradley holy cow.

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We talk about the power of video to resonate across the internet from human to human.

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Tim in Friday's episode, which is 916, he has something that I've never seen before, called the video marketing trifecta, where it's going to get you all sorts of fired up to just go out, be on camera, connect in a really deep way with your audience, with your customers, your clients.

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So pound that subscribe button.

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I'm super excited.

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I'll see you right back here tomorrow.

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Hey, it's Brian here, and thanks for tuning in to yet another episode of the Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.

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If you haven't checked us out online, there's so much good stuff there.

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Check out the show's website and all the show notes that we talked about in today's episode at thewantrepreneurshowcom, and I just want to give a shout out to our amazing guests.

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There's a reason why we are ad free and have produced so many incredible episodes five days a week for you, and it's because our guests step up to the plate.

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These are not sponsored episodes, these are not infomercials.

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Our guests help us cover the costs of our productions.

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They so deeply believe in the power of getting their message out in front of you, awesome wantrepreneurs and entrepreneurs, that they contribute to help us make these productions possible.

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So thank you to not only today's guests, but all of our guests in general, and I just want to invite you check out our website because you can send us a voicemail there.

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We also have live chat.

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If you want to interact directly with me, go to thewantrepreneurshowcom.

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Initiate a live chat.

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It's for real me and I'm excited because I'll see you, as always every Monday, wednesday, friday, saturday and Sunday here on the Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.