977: ACTION SATURDAY (be a GIFTER in business w/ Emily Weiner)

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Hey, what is up?

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Wantrepreneurs and entrepreneurs all over the world, it's Brian LoFermento here, host of the WANTrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast, and this is an Action Saturday episode where I'm so excited to be welcoming back on a guest that you all loved.

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You heard from her in her full episode episode 975, which also aired this week the incredible Emily Wiener.

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Just to remind you about Emily, she is the founder and CEO of the Connectors.

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She's a systems thinking entrepreneur and business advisor with over 25 years of experience connecting people and ideas to drive change.

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Leaders value her ability to link individuals and concepts, fostering innovation and impact.

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Emily has helped thousands of people, from teenagers to seasoned professionals, discover how to affect change in various roles and impact.

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Emily has helped thousands of people, from teenagers to seasoned professionals, discover how to affect change in various roles and sectors.

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She coaches people to connect with their passions, develop skills and view societal challenges as entrepreneurial opportunities.

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Previously, emily was a founding member of the Lewis Institute at Babson College, growing it into a multi-million dollar social impact portfolio.

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Her diverse background includes starting businesses and working across corporate, non-profit, academic and political sectors.

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Emily's expertise lies in fostering intentional relationships and partnerships to unlock new possibilities.

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And if you didn't hear her full episode in episode 975,.

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I love the way she talks so intentionally about relationships versus connections and deepening that, and she's continuing all those good vibes in today's episode with an action that we all need to take.

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This is a good one.

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Take it away, emily.

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Thanks so much, brian.

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Today, I'm going to focus on the idea of gifting and how being a giver is one of the most important things you, as an entrepreneur, can do to shift your mindset and attract the right resources.

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So what do I mean by gifting?

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A gift is something that you have in your possession, whether it's a tangible thing, a skill, a relationship or something else that you willingly give to another person.

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A gift comes from a different place inside of you and is given with authentic and good intentions and without the expectation of anything in return, including public recognition or praise.

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With gifting, the goal and focus is on the recipient, not the giver.

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So how does gifting make you a better entrepreneur?

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Entrepreneurs need to engage others to move their ideas forward.

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Too often, they focus solely on what others have and ways to extract resources from those people so they can grow.

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People need to feel good about you before they'll be willing to help you, and cultivating that good feeling means that you need to shift your thinking from focusing on what you need to focusing on what you have to offer.

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Don't just take my word for it.

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As Adam Grant shared in a 2020 New York Times article, studies show that givers are better negotiators because they care as much about the other party's success as their own.

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They don't see negotiations as a zero-sum game and understand that before someone can claim value, they need to create value.

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And here's a spoiler alert Gifting will come back to help you in more ways than you can imagine and in different ways than you imagine.

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Let's look at a recent example from my life.

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I wanted to help a high school student connect to a particular university and realized a former colleague was working there.

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I hadn't been in touch with this woman in years, but I would occasionally see her updates on LinkedIn and we had a great relationship when we worked together.

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I had actively supported her work and always made sure to ask if I could do anything to help.

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As frequently happens, we lost touch after she changed jobs because our lives took us in different directions.

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Despite that, I decided to message her and hoped she would be willing to help.

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I started by asking how she was doing and apologized for reaching out to ask for a favor right from the start without at least getting time to catch up.

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After that, I elaborated on my ask and closed out my message by reconfirming how much I valued our connection and hoped we could catch up soon.

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To my great delight, she replied almost immediately and said hi, emily, so great to hear from you.

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As far as I'm concerned, you can drop in to ask me for a favor at any time, no matter how long it's been, and, of course, she went above and beyond to help this student have a fantastic experience during her university visit.

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This story is a reminder that showing up as a giver will always foster a good feeling about you, and people will remember that for years to come.

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Your gifts may or may not ever be returned, at least not from the person that you gifted them to, and that's okay.

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Or, like in this case, your gift may come to you years later in a way you never expected.

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So this is great if you have an established relationship with someone, but what about trying to connect with someone you don't know?

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Here are three steps you can take to show up as a giver when you first meet someone.

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Step one ask open-ended questions that encourage the person to share more about themselves.

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Too often when we first meet someone, we ask questions that you could find answers to on a LinkedIn profile, but if we want to truly connect with someone, it helps to go a little deeper.

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For example, instead of asking someone what they studied in school to get the job they have, you could ask them what drew them to their career path, even if you do want to find out what they studied in school.

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You can get to those types of questions once you have a connection established.

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Step two listen carefully to what the person is saying.

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Really pay attention not just to the words but the tone and their body language, and be careful not to project your own ideas or beliefs onto them.

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In our quest to understand people, we can sometimes take shortcuts and make presumptions of what the other person is saying and in our haste to want to seem engaged, we sometimes listen to respond rather than listen to learn.

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We sometimes listen to respond rather than listen to learn.

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One way you can mitigate this is to ask clarifying questions or say things like so, if I understand you correctly, you focus on and then recap your perspective on what they said to see if you got it right.

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Step three focus on what you have and what you can offer right at that very moment.

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Frequently, we think that we need to earn the right to provide value, like having a certain amount of work or life experience, I've received just as many gifts from 16-year-olds as I have from 60-year-olds.

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Your insights, perspectives and connections are enough, and everyone can be a worthy giver.

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Offering to help, even in a small way, will demonstrate your willingness to connect with people, not just pump them for contacts or resources.

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I usually try to think about someone I can introduce a person to, but I don't always have the right people in my network.

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So if that doesn't work, I'll offer to send along a resource I have, like a book or an article.

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If I really can't think of any gifts I have to offer, then I'll just ask how can I be helpful to you in accomplishing your goals.

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If you want more insights on cultivating better connections to move your entrepreneurial ideas forward, sign up for our Substack at theconnectorssubstackcom or visit theconnectorsnet to get in touch with me directly.

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And that's today's Action Saturday episode.

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Now it's time to take action and start gifting.