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July 10, 2024

885: HAPPINESS HABITS and setting boundaries for success in life & business w/ Jennifer Golbus

How do you transform the trials of entrepreneurship, addiction, and burnout into a story of resilience and growth? In this episode, we sit down with Jennifer Golbus, the dynamic co-founder of Meet Me. Jennifer shares her remarkable journey from creating successful businesses to facing and overcoming addiction. With humor and empathy, she reveals how these experiences have shaped her into a mentor dedicated to personal development and growth.

Ever felt like a fraud despite years of success? We tackle the pervasive issue of imposter syndrome and offer actionable strategies to align thoughts with reality. Jennifer explains how self-sabotage often manifests in subtle, counterproductive ways and underscores the importance of self-awareness to overcome these challenges. Midlife burnout, particularly for women juggling multiple roles, is another focus. Jennifer emphasizes the often-overlooked necessity of self-care and setting boundaries to reclaim one's sense of self amidst societal pressures.

Authenticity and genuine connections are at the heart of Jennifer's philosophy, both in life and business. We explore how happiness habits and mindset tools, like practicing gratitude, can lead to true fulfillment. Jennifer also shares the mantra "done is better than perfect," highlighting the need for adaptability and persistence in entrepreneurship. Tune in for an episode filled with inspiration, practical advice, and heartfelt insights from Jennifer Golbus, offering valuable lessons for aspiring entrepreneurs and anyone seeking positive change.

ABOUT JENNIFER
Jennifer Golbus has run two successful communications businesses, but after overcoming the darkness of addiction and rebuilding her life, Jennifer stepped into the role of mentor for men and women ready to make a positive change in their lives. A recovering perfectionist and former self-sabotage expert, Jennifer is committed to helping others identify their blocks, change their inner dialogue and bolster their strengths. She uses a combination of empathy, humor, tough love and proven tactics to help people find their smiles again. When she’s not coaching, you can find her on the beautiful trails of Marin County, CA, parenting her two teenagers, or obsessively working to perfect her gluten free cookie recipe.

LINKS & RESOURCES 

Chapters

00:00 - Entrepreneur's Journey Through Recovery and Growth

09:27 - Dealing With Imposter Syndrome and Burnout

16:22 - Navigating Burnout and Self-Care

22:40 - Exploring Happiness Habits and Authentic Connection

29:28 - Building Authentic Connections in Business

36:46 - The Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur Podcast

Transcript

WEBVTT

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Hey, what is up?

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Welcome to this episode of the Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.

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As always, I'm your host, brian Lofermento, and I'll tell you what I have been so excited about today's episode.

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Because we are joined by an incredible entrepreneur who it's not her first rodeo.

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She has entrepreneurship in her DNA.

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It's something she's done for quite some time.

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But also she marries it with the realities of understanding what it means to be human, what it means to be on a personal development and growth journey, and she combines all of her wisdom and experiences into serving others.

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So let me tell you about today's guest.

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Her name is Jennifer Golbis.

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Jennifer has run two successful communications businesses, but after overcoming the darkness of addiction and rebuilding her life, jennifer stepped into the role of mentor for men and women ready to make a positive change in their lives.

00:00:50.975 --> 00:00:59.752
A recovering perfectionist I'm sure a lot of you listeners can relate to that and former self-sabotage expert I personally want to go into that with Jennifer here today.

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Jennifer is committed to helping others identify their blocks, change their inner dialogue and bolster their strengths.

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She uses a combination of empathy, humor, tough love and proven tactics to help people find their smiles again.

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I love the way she articulates that in her work and in her vision and in her mission.

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When she's not coaching, you can find her on the beautiful trails in Northern California parenting her two teenagers or obsessively working to perfect her gluten-free cookie recipe that is the way to my heart with sweets, so I'm super excited.

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We're all going to learn so much from Jennifer here today, so I'm not going to say anything else.

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Let's dive straight into my interview with Jennifer Golbis.

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All right, jennifer, I am so excited that you're here with us.

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First things first, welcome to the show.

00:01:48.263 --> 00:01:55.792
Thank you Super excited to be here, brian Heck, yes, especially since you and I got to geek out a little bit about our love for Los Angeles.

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And speaking of cookies, have you ever been to Diddy Reese Cookies in Westwood?

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I forgot about Diddy Reese, but yeah, oh, that just brought me back.

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I can smell them now.

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Yes, me too.

00:02:06.923 --> 00:02:08.788
It's funny, your bio took me there.

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We didn't talk about it off the air, but, jennifer, I think it's a perfect segue into you.

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Taking us beyond the bio, you've got an awesome entrepreneurial backstory.

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Who's Jennifer?

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How'd you start doing all these cool things?

00:02:19.319 --> 00:02:20.222
Well, thanks, brian.

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Yeah, the backstory is I started in communications and a PR firm doing PR actually for wineries near where I live in Northern California, but quickly realized that I wanted to work for myself.

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So really early in my career I started doing communications consultancy.

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I launched a PR agency with an amazing partner many, many years ago and it's been a journey ever since.

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A couple of times I've tried going back into a more traditional workplace and once you get a taste of working for yourself and being an entrepreneur, let's just say it doesn't last long if I try to go back to the other side, if you will.

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It's something that I think we can all relate to, because that's why I tease it at the top of today's episode.

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I argue that these traits the way that your mind sees the world, Jennifer.

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It's hard for you to not be an entrepreneur, and so I'd love knowing that your background is an entrepreneurial professional career path up to this point.

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Walk us through your early businesses and then how they seemingly morphed together, which it makes sense in hindsight, but how one thing led to the other.

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I love that question.

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Thank you, yeah.

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So, like I said, I started in PR agencies and a colleague of mine and I started a business together in San Francisco.

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It's called Jam PR.

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She's still running it she's amazing it's still there and we took all of the knowledge that we had and we're like we think we thought we could do it better and serve clients better and be really ethical at the same time, and so that's what jam was about Just giving excellent service to our clients and having a lot of fun while we were doing it.

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So after that I started consulting when we were talking off air about I have two twins who are now 18 and about to go off to college.

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When they came into my life I needed to change my entrepreneurial path, let's say a little bit.

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I couldn't run an agency at that time, so I started consulting and I did that for many, many years, and that kind of brings me up till today.

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Like I mentioned a little bit before, I have gone back when my kids were younger and just needed something a little bit simpler.

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I've tried going back into an office setting but, like I said, it lasts maybe a year or so and then I come right back.

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So recently I've made the switch to nonprofit work and I've been working in here in Marin County, where I live in Northern California, doing marketing communications for local nonprofits and I have loved that switch because it's taking the skills that I developed in marketing and communications to serve my community.

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That's I've been doing for many, many years, but recently I have started a new business.

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Should I tell you about that also?

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Yes, please, cause I'm so excited to dive deep into it.

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So all these years working in communications, I've loved it and I always felt like there was just something a little bit missing, like I was really good at what I did.

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My clients love me.

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I've never even had to market my services a lot of word of mouth, which is amazing and I just felt like I wasn't maybe on I don't want to say the right path, because I don't know if there is such a thing, but on the path that was really lighting me up anymore.

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What I really want to do is help people.

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So my new business is called Meet Me and I've joined up with my best friend of 52 years if you can believe that, I am dating myself a little and she has a background as a therapist and you mentioned in my bio, I am living a life in recovery from alcoholism, so clearly I've had a very big transformation in my own life.

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So what we've done is we've taken my tools and background and her tools and background as a trained therapist and combined them together into a coaching and wellness company that helps people with really practical tactical ways of feeling better.

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Yes, gosh, I love that overview, jennifer, for so many reasons, and I especially love the way that you articulate it, because it really does show the word that I'm going to use is complimentary.

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I think that that's part of the key of being successful in life and business is complimenting not only our experiences, not only our skill sets, but complimenting.

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I just think it's I always get the quote wrong, but it's like the sum of its parts is greater than the whole, or however that phrase goes.

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I know that one A whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

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Yes, exactly, and I think yes.

00:06:51.180 --> 00:06:56.233
I think it's so cool because inherent in any entrepreneurial journey are the mindset things.

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We all face, struggles along the way, whether it's imposter syndrome, whether it's comparison to others.

00:07:02.884 --> 00:07:09.033
Yeah, exactly, and so that's why I love that you talk about teaming up with your best friend, who brings that more clinical background to it.

00:07:09.033 --> 00:07:13.249
But you have experienced your own things in life in every single domain.

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So talk to us about that desire to serve others, because I think that's something that makes us as entrepreneurs different is, you just didn't say well, Jennifer, I want to solve this for myself.

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You said I want to solve it for myself.

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I also want to be of service and help others.

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Talk to us about that transition.

00:07:30.305 --> 00:07:32.209
Yeah, that's such a good question.

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I've never had anyone ask it quite that way.

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And if I could back up just a second, because there was a decision point, right, I was at a point in my consultancy with nonprofits where I had to make a decision.

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I had it was time to.

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Either I was at that point in my journey where I was working too hard, right, and I needed to either scale so I could hire a team or not or simplify, and it would have been really I'm not going to say easy, it's never easy but I definitely.

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I had worked with a team before I could have scaled and really built an eight another agency around nonprofit communications and I had to dig deep and I had to go All right, are we going to do this?

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Because this new path is much harder and it's taking longer and it's not easy to make a shift at this point in my career.

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And I'm doing it anyway because that's what I was called to do.

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Yeah, I love that, especially those words at the end called to do.

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It's something that we can't ignore and I think it's such a powerful force.

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But let's talk about the other forces at play, because right away you were so excited to talk about imposter syndrome and I want to throw for sure because something I've personally experienced self-sabotage into the equation.

00:08:49.765 --> 00:09:06.054
Jennifer, let's get real here on the air for listeners, talk to us about all these different things that come along with the journey, because it would be easy I'm going to throw this in here before we get into this part of the conversation it would be very easy for someone to look at you from the outside in and go well, jennifer, you've started successful communications businesses.

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You've run a PR agency in San Francisco, which is a very difficult market and region to operate in.

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You've done all of these things.

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It must come easy and, of course, it doesn't.

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So let's talk about some of those things.

00:09:17.567 --> 00:09:20.682
I'd love to kick it off with imposter syndrome, self-sabotage.

00:09:20.682 --> 00:09:24.287
Those are two things we all face that maybe we don't talk about often enough.

00:09:25.248 --> 00:09:27.250
Oh, you're getting into it, brian, I love it.

00:09:27.250 --> 00:09:40.562
Imposter syndrome oh man, so I have over 25, I stopped counting.

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After 25 years of experience in communications, pr, marketing, I still get imposter syndrome in that business.

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Isn't that crazy?

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I've been serving clients for that many years and still I am now at the point where I can recognize it and then I have some facts I can check.

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That's one of my favorite tools is check the facts, because my brain tells me things that aren't necessarily true and I have to check the facts.

00:10:02.528 --> 00:10:09.265
But with my new business, imposter syndrome was real because, like you mentioned, I'm not a clinical therapist.

00:10:09.265 --> 00:10:11.913
I don't have a background in coaching.

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I've certainly been a client many times and love and believe in coaching.

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So when I teamed up with my partner, jennifer Overbow, who is amazing and has a background doing private practice, running trauma groups and et cetera, that helped me with my imposter syndrome, knowing that we were joining forces.

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But that's not the only reason why we decided to partner.

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But imposter syndrome, man, it's like you got to do it anyway.

00:10:41.034 --> 00:10:52.106
My best, like thinking back on all the years, is that voice is there and you're like oh hey, there, you can come sit right there, but you don't get to drive the car you know in charge.

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You can be a passenger if you need to, but you're not really welcome to take charge.

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That's how I kind of deal with it.

00:10:59.144 --> 00:11:01.066
Yeah, talk to us about checking the facts.

00:11:01.066 --> 00:11:02.447
I think that's so powerful.

00:11:02.447 --> 00:11:03.889
It does two things, jennifer.

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One, it acknowledges that that's not rooted in reality and secondly, it does take us back to that path of reality.

00:11:09.942 --> 00:11:12.327
What's that strategy or mechanism look like for you?

00:11:13.331 --> 00:11:14.759
It's so interesting, brian.

00:11:14.759 --> 00:11:24.533
It's one of my favorite tools and it's one of the things I teach in a lot of my workshops and work with my clients, so it can work in self-development and in business.

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So what it means for me is that my brain just like all human brains, it thinks a lot of thoughts.

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That's what brains do?

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They think thoughts, and then, if I don't check it, it will go off and create a whole scenario that's not based in reality and before you know it, I'm reacting in real life to something that hasn't even happened or is not maybe even real.

00:11:47.904 --> 00:11:53.173
That can cause a lot of problems in business and in your personal life.

00:11:53.173 --> 00:11:59.288
So what I mean by check the facts is just that you stop, you pause.

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One of my other favorite tools is pause when agitated, just take a breath and check the facts.

00:12:07.966 --> 00:12:10.570
It can mean so many things.

00:12:10.570 --> 00:12:13.833
I can give you an example if you'd like, just to illustrate it.

00:12:14.554 --> 00:12:15.336
Yeah, we'd love that.

00:12:16.841 --> 00:12:18.784
So early in the pandemic.

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I was just thinking of starting my business and my husband came home in the middle of the day one day to announce he had just lost his job.

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Okay, so this was terrible timing and really scary, and I started panicking, absolutely panicking, like crying, actually crying.

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And then I remembered Jennifer, stop, check the facts, let's check the facts.

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So, in that scenario, what checking the facts meant was looking at our spreadsheet of our, my income without his, and what our expenses were and were we okay?

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And I was surprised to learn although we had to tighten our belts a little, yes, we were fine.

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So my panic, which was going to take me down a pretty bad rabbit hole of hysterical thinking, when I checked the facts, I was able to breathe and then get back on the path.

00:13:09.307 --> 00:13:11.211
Yes, I love that real life example.

00:13:11.211 --> 00:13:24.640
Listeners, this is something that we can all implement in our lives, and I think it goes in conjunction with the two things that Jennifer's already introduced us to, which is one you have to pause to be able to do any sort of reflection and course correction and then to check those facts.

00:13:24.640 --> 00:13:31.066
Jennifer, I think that's a really powerful real life example that we should all implement in our lives and especially in our businesses.

00:13:31.066 --> 00:13:39.889
Along those lines, let's keep talking about how irrational us silly humans can be along the way, because self-sabotage is a topic that I feel really strongly about.

00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:41.250
I've personally experienced it.

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I know that you've personally experienced it.

00:13:42.846 --> 00:13:58.543
So walk us down that path, because in my I mean, I've been an entrepreneur for 16 years now, and when I talk about entrepreneurial maturity, part of it is, of course, I've gotten older over those 16 years now.

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And when I talk about entrepreneurial maturity, part of it is, of course, I've gotten older over those 16 years, but also I've had experiences in business and in life over those 16 years and, looking backwards, I think it's really hard to identify in the moment what self-sabotage is, why the heck we're doing it.

00:14:06.850 --> 00:14:08.677
So walk us down that path.

00:14:08.677 --> 00:14:15.212
As someone who not only has experienced it, but someone who, I would imagine, can identify it in so many of the people that you help and that you work with.

00:14:16.441 --> 00:14:18.879
Yeah, it's funny because I did put that in my bio.

00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:29.291
It's something that is an ongoing process, let's say, and it comes with starts, with self awareness, just similar to that pause we just talked about.

00:14:29.291 --> 00:14:33.429
You can't fix something unless you know it's happening.

00:14:33.429 --> 00:14:43.568
And with the obvious things, that's um, like, let's say, if somebody has a goal that they want to lose 10 pounds, the obvious things is I'm eating ice cream every night.

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Okay, then maybe I should stop.

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Those are the obvious things, but the the trick is to find the hidden habits.

00:14:53.500 --> 00:15:03.899
So I'm used to talking about this in my personal life, but I'll say in my business life as an entrepreneur, where I can start self-sabotaging is to get really in the weeds.

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When I get anxious, I just start doing a lot of tasks.

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So I'll start like working on a sales page, or I'll start writing a bunch of copy or you know whatever the case might be, just to get something done and make myself feel productive, instead of coming back up to that bird's eye view where we need to be strategically and looking at what the next step in our business is.

00:15:25.777 --> 00:15:34.423
So that's something I've been constantly working on as an entrepreneur is to when I start feeling frantic and frenetic getting all this stuff done.

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I have to pause again.

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It kind of all goes together right.

00:15:38.094 --> 00:15:45.441
And stop self sabotaging, because that's going to make me feel stressed, anxious and I'm actually not going to get anywhere.

00:15:46.102 --> 00:15:51.504
Yeah, which I think is a perfect segue into so much of the work that you and Jen do with your company.

00:15:51.504 --> 00:15:53.860
Meet Me, because I love it right there.

00:15:53.860 --> 00:15:57.552
It's two words that are so key to every entrepreneur's journey which is burnt out.

00:15:57.552 --> 00:16:05.751
A lot of us feel burnt out and I think at the stem of that, at the root of that, is a topic that you just alluded to, which is we are really good at staying busy.

00:16:05.751 --> 00:16:11.270
A lot of business is us trying to achieve busyness, which is not always the path.

00:16:11.270 --> 00:16:22.230
So I'd love for you to shed some light here for us into what that looks like, because we're all inevitably going to feel burnout at different stages of our journeys, and it is certainly at different extremes.

00:16:22.230 --> 00:16:24.503
But what does burnout look like?

00:16:24.503 --> 00:16:28.413
What leads us there and then, most importantly, what's the path away from that?

00:16:31.605 --> 00:16:44.966
Well gosh, it's hard to generalize because it's going to be different for everybody, but I'll say in my experience for myself and working with my clients burnout happens when we stop taking care of ourselves.

00:16:44.966 --> 00:16:51.567
In a nutshell right, it could look like so many different things, like in business, it's that you're just go, go, go.

00:16:51.567 --> 00:16:59.399
You're not stopping and assessing and either hiring a team to help or readjusting your goals.

00:16:59.399 --> 00:17:01.864
If you don't have the resources to hire a team, right then.

00:17:01.864 --> 00:17:07.782
And just not having any boundaries around work as an entrepreneur.

00:17:07.782 --> 00:17:08.605
That's something for me.

00:17:08.605 --> 00:17:32.093
I work from home a lot and I have had to work on my boundaries between work and home life because and I have had to work on my boundaries between work and home life because otherwise I'll just sit at my computer working into the evening and in life it's just not putting ourselves first, it's not having that self-care it's such an overused term but it's so important because as adults, nobody's going to take care of us.

00:17:32.093 --> 00:17:40.163
We have to do it for ourselves and when we start getting really busy with all of our different roles and responsibilities, we get burnt out.

00:17:40.523 --> 00:17:47.404
The population I work with a lot in Meet Me is women in midlife like myself who we take on.

00:17:47.404 --> 00:17:49.753
We have so many roles at this point in life.

00:17:49.753 --> 00:17:54.329
We have many of us, if we're married with children, are still actively parenting.

00:17:54.329 --> 00:17:56.064
We have parents.

00:17:56.064 --> 00:18:08.680
If we're lucky to still have parents, they might be aging, they might be having health concerns, so we're taking care of aging parents while also actively parenting and then, of course, working in all of our other responsibilities.

00:18:08.680 --> 00:18:10.548
So it can take a toll.

00:18:10.548 --> 00:18:29.381
It can be a very stressful time of life for women in particular, and we can tend to lose ourselves and then, once you start that downward spiral of kind of feeling lost, you forget who you are, and that's where Jen and I like to work with people.

00:18:30.041 --> 00:18:38.989
Yeah, jennifer, it's awesome hearing you talk about this because it really is a reality check of the so many different hats that you wear, that all of us wear in our own lives.

00:18:38.989 --> 00:18:45.780
And for me, getting this chance to interact with you today, I'm thinking I'm like man I get to talk to Jennifer the business owner, I get to talk to Jennifer the mom.

00:18:45.780 --> 00:18:47.904
I get to talk to Jennifer the entrepreneur.

00:18:47.904 --> 00:18:57.002
I get to talk to so many different sides of you and the responsibilities that you have and I'm going to call this out and it's just so much of our conversation keeps coming back to pausing.

00:18:57.084 --> 00:19:10.713
Is that too many people, when they're busy being a mom, when they're busy being a business owner, when they're busy if they've got a career path and they're still an employee, if they're in the entrepreneurial phase or the side hustle phase, they're trying to do all those things?

00:19:10.713 --> 00:19:21.430
And I think it's incredible that your clients openly acknowledge of, hey, we are doing all these things and we also need help and we also need intentionality in our lives.

00:19:21.430 --> 00:19:24.930
Talk to us about those clients, whether they're men, women.

00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:26.867
It sounds like you have a really strong focus into.

00:19:26.867 --> 00:19:34.143
Talk to us about those clients and what is that catalyst for them to say look, I'm a busy parent, I've got a million things going on in my life.

00:19:34.143 --> 00:19:36.469
However, I can't avoid this stuff.

00:19:36.469 --> 00:19:46.508
What does that look like to take that on in a world where so many people just say I don't have enough bandwidth, I have to focus on being a parent or a business owner, or all these other labels?

00:19:47.550 --> 00:19:48.653
God, it's so good.

00:19:48.653 --> 00:20:02.709
Brian, yeah, it can be really hard to make the decision to focus on ourselves and especially in this culture, we have a tendency to feel like maybe that's being selfish, but when we work with clients it's so.

00:20:02.709 --> 00:20:03.329
It's interesting.

00:20:03.329 --> 00:20:20.825
I mentioned these practical tactical tools and when Jen and I first created our first curriculum, which was a six week program for women in midlife who just kind of felt like they lost that sense of themselves, I always say it's like you feel like there's something wrong but you can't quite put your finger on it.

00:20:20.845 --> 00:20:25.683
It's just you're not quite yourself but you're not sure really why or what.

00:20:25.683 --> 00:20:39.561
You know you have a tendency to go oh, this is going to pass, it's fine, but you're not fine and it doesn't have to be your normal right, it doesn't have to be that way.

00:20:39.561 --> 00:20:47.964
And when we're in overwhelm, like we just talked about, in that burnt out phase state of mind, it's really hard, if not impossible, to use that same overwhelmed brain to help yourself get out of that.

00:20:47.964 --> 00:20:51.871
You just need a hand and that's where Jen and I come in.

00:20:51.871 --> 00:20:59.390
I mentioned practical tactical and that's because I've been frustrated either in therapy.

00:20:59.390 --> 00:21:01.361
I love therapy, but this is not what we do?

00:21:01.361 --> 00:21:11.268
We're more about having a specific goal and taking actions so that you can get kind of pretty immediate relief in your life and start feeling better again.

00:21:11.268 --> 00:21:13.673
And that's what Meet Me is all about.

00:21:14.461 --> 00:21:15.303
Yeah, I love that.

00:21:15.323 --> 00:21:18.911
I also love that term that you keep using practical, tactical.

00:21:18.911 --> 00:21:31.743
I think that's such an important takeaway, and it's fun for me hearing about the people that you serve, because I can't help but think about all the different entrepreneurs that I've served along the years, and the one thing that I always hear, jennifer, from people is they're just like that.

00:21:31.743 --> 00:21:34.728
I've served along the years and the one thing that I always hear, jennifer, from people is they're just like oh, my situation is different.

00:21:34.728 --> 00:21:38.333
You couldn't possibly understand my business or my industry.

00:21:38.373 --> 00:21:51.944
And hearing you talk about middle-aged women, it's something that I think it's such a powerful business strategy is that when we serve either the current or previous version of ourselves, we have such a deep and powerful understanding of that customer avatar.

00:21:51.944 --> 00:21:57.842
So talk to me about that, because I would imagine that you face a similar objection from potential clients who work with you.

00:21:57.842 --> 00:22:00.008
Is that well, jennifer, I've got a lot of stuff going on.

00:22:00.008 --> 00:22:02.042
There's no way you could possibly understand it.

00:22:02.042 --> 00:22:09.364
We trick ourselves into believing we are so very unique that no one else joins in these troubles and tribulations that we face.

00:22:09.364 --> 00:22:10.785
Talk to us about that.

00:22:11.546 --> 00:22:31.909
Oh my God, brian, you just hit when you said that you brought me back to my early recovery days, believe it or not, because that is something that you hear a lot with people new in recovery, myself included, which, when something like you have no idea if you knew what was going on in my life, you would drink too and you can't possibly understand.

00:22:31.909 --> 00:22:35.962
And it turns out these things are somewhat universal.

00:22:35.962 --> 00:22:39.231
So, bringing it back to the business, though, it's just so interesting.

00:22:39.231 --> 00:22:53.922
What we're talking about here are it's like a framework that will help pretty much any human who is just feeling a little overwhelmed or like they're not living the best version of themselves.

00:22:54.343 --> 00:22:56.170
We're talking about mindset tools.

00:22:56.170 --> 00:22:58.416
We're talking about reframing.

00:22:58.416 --> 00:23:04.373
We're talking about we get a little bit into the science of happiness some really simple habits that you can change.

00:23:04.373 --> 00:23:27.186
So when we work with clients, when you address that root problem and create a system for your own thoughts and behaviors, that's going to impact every part of your life, whether your business, your personal life, your relationships if you're a mom or a dad, your relationship with your kids it's kind of hard to get away from.

00:23:27.186 --> 00:23:29.709
You can't just make a business plan.

00:23:29.709 --> 00:23:35.607
I mean, you can make a business plan and execute on it, but you might feel miserable while doing it.

00:23:35.607 --> 00:23:41.767
We're trying to get underneath that and address the human side of it, so that you can actually thrive.

00:23:42.579 --> 00:23:47.165
Yeah, Jennifer, you can't come on here and talk about the science of happiness and us not go deeper into that.

00:23:47.507 --> 00:23:48.309
I'd love to hear that.

00:23:49.300 --> 00:23:52.847
As someone who's gone deep into the work that you and Jen do with, Meet Me.

00:23:52.847 --> 00:24:05.448
I think it's so fascinating because it really is that the counterweights, the counterbalances of being burnt out and unsatisfied with, of course, our goal of feeling fulfilled, excited, rewarded, happy at the end of the day.

00:24:05.448 --> 00:24:14.664
So talk to us about how you start going down that path, especially for people who probably haven't paused in years or decades and they don't have that opportunity.

00:24:14.664 --> 00:24:21.084
How do we begin to pursue happiness, not knowing what happiness may even feel like these days?

00:24:22.185 --> 00:24:25.452
Okay, well, my answer might not be super popular, but here it is.

00:24:25.452 --> 00:24:27.422
It's an inner job.

00:24:27.422 --> 00:24:31.767
So in our culture we have a couple of things that keep us from being happy.

00:24:31.767 --> 00:24:34.589
So in our culture we have a couple of things that keep us from being happy.

00:24:34.589 --> 00:24:34.810
It's this.

00:24:34.851 --> 00:24:45.609
Marcy Shymoff wrote a book called the oh shoot, I'm not remembering it right now the happiness happy for no reason amazing book, and she talks about something called the myth of more.

00:24:46.059 --> 00:25:07.723
And in our culture, happiness we think that happiness comes from things from the outside, whether that's the job, whether that's hitting a goal as entrepreneurs, a goal in our business, whether it's an income goal or a client goal, the house, the marriage, the vacations we take, the clothes we wear the list goes on.

00:25:07.723 --> 00:25:19.589
The problem is now I study something called positive intelligence, pq, and the problem with that is that we adjust really quickly to the new whatever.

00:25:19.589 --> 00:25:23.163
So you remodel your kitchen now you're going to be happy, right?

00:25:23.163 --> 00:25:28.644
Well, you get used to it, and then you have the next thing that you want, and then the next thing, and then the next thing.

00:25:28.644 --> 00:25:42.582
So we have to go inside and it's a mindset shift and there's all kinds of tools jen and I call them happiness, habits that you can start building, so that we're not saying that you shouldn't go over.

00:25:42.582 --> 00:25:54.859
Go get those things that you want, by all means go, but that's not what's gonna give you lasting happiness yeah, gosh, that's a profound answer and it leads us to happiness habits.

00:25:54.920 --> 00:25:56.703
Can you give us a couple of examples of those?

00:25:57.730 --> 00:26:01.894
Yeah, one of them is just loving what you already have.

00:26:01.894 --> 00:26:04.135
So it's like some people call it, gratitude.

00:26:04.135 --> 00:26:21.263
I have to be careful with gratitude, and gratitude is a tool I use, and still use, every day in order in my sobriety journey and you don't want to be Pollyanna about it, and what I mean by that is you can't force yourself to feel grateful if you're really feeling crappy.

00:26:21.263 --> 00:26:32.957
Sometimes we're just having a bad day, okay, and that's fine, but what I mean is, if there's something that you already have that you want, that's a great place to start.

00:26:32.957 --> 00:26:33.798
Like.

00:26:33.798 --> 00:26:37.042
I want to be an entrepreneur.

00:26:37.042 --> 00:26:38.424
I already have a business.

00:26:38.424 --> 00:26:41.717
Now, it might not be perfect, but I can be grateful for that.

00:26:41.717 --> 00:26:44.563
I wanted always to be a mom.

00:26:44.563 --> 00:26:46.633
It's amazing I'm already.

00:26:46.633 --> 00:26:48.176
I have two amazing kids.

00:26:48.176 --> 00:26:49.298
Is it easy?

00:26:49.298 --> 00:26:53.473
No, they're both about to go off to college and it's been a roller coaster.

00:26:54.836 --> 00:27:05.319
Sometimes I have to keep it really, really simple, because sometimes I'm just having a bad day, bad week, bad month, whatever, and I can be grateful for my hot cup of coffee Truly grateful.

00:27:05.319 --> 00:27:18.874
It's delicious, I have the ability to make the coffee, I have the time for five minutes to sit and enjoy it and, as simple as that sounds, it actually starts rewiring believe it or not the neurons in our brains.

00:27:18.874 --> 00:27:27.999
To it starts rewiring, sorry, it starts rewiring our brains away from the negativity bias that our brains have.

00:27:27.999 --> 00:27:29.301
So that's just one example.

00:27:29.990 --> 00:27:34.121
Yeah, I love that real life example, especially because we hear about it so frequently.

00:27:34.121 --> 00:27:35.493
You know, express gratitude, have a gratitude journal.

00:27:35.493 --> 00:27:45.916
But hearing your real life example especially because we hear about it so frequently you know express gratitude, have a gratitude journal, but hearing your real life ones, especially with Jennifer, I'm going to put this huge disclaimer in here that I think we all need to when we talk about this, especially in those low moments.

00:27:45.916 --> 00:27:51.093
It's okay to acknowledge I've had a really tough day, week, month, year Sometimes.

00:27:51.093 --> 00:27:56.743
I've experienced those as well, jennifer, and I think it's important to recognize that all of these things can coexist.

00:27:56.784 --> 00:28:06.333
We're never going to have a perfect runway in life or especially in business, but I think what's really revealing here in today's session with you is that you love talking about this stuff.

00:28:06.333 --> 00:28:08.259
You love connecting really deeply about this stuff.

00:28:08.259 --> 00:28:21.616
You laughed at it right at the top of this episode and you said, brian, we're diving straight into the deep stuff, but it's such a core part of your work Is that deep and authentic connection?

00:28:21.616 --> 00:28:26.354
Talk to us about how important that is for you, because I imagine, coming from the PR world, you have an interesting knack at getting at the story, the real root of things.

00:28:26.354 --> 00:28:28.279
How does that factor into the work you do?

00:28:29.369 --> 00:28:30.751
Man, you are good at this, brian.

00:28:30.751 --> 00:28:33.253
You get exactly right in there.

00:28:33.253 --> 00:28:35.856
The authentic connection is everything.

00:28:35.856 --> 00:28:42.724
So one of the things that Jen and I have been focused on since we started Meet Me is, well, start with our name.

00:28:42.724 --> 00:28:43.486
How about that?

00:28:43.685 --> 00:28:52.523
Meet Me comes from a term that Jen and I had when we were growing up on a dead end street in a small town, across the street from each other.

00:28:52.523 --> 00:28:54.340
This was obviously way before cell phones and texting or things like that.

00:28:54.340 --> 00:28:55.385
We would call each other and say meet me in the middle of the street from each other.

00:28:55.385 --> 00:28:57.159
This was obviously way before cell phones and texting or things like that.

00:28:57.159 --> 00:29:05.801
We would call each other and say meet me in the middle of the street, and that was kind of became code for drop everything and literally run out.

00:29:05.801 --> 00:29:12.473
There was a little light spot in the middle of the street where we could sit, because it was a dead end street and we would talk and support each other.

00:29:12.473 --> 00:29:22.500
I should mention I actually have a twin sister, so there were three of us who all would sit there together and through the years, through all the years, it was meet me in the middle of the street.

00:29:22.500 --> 00:29:28.063
And so when we decided to name our company, meet Me.

00:29:28.143 --> 00:29:30.470
Now, obviously, our tagline is find your best self.

00:29:30.470 --> 00:29:34.521
So meet me really means meet the best version of yourself.

00:29:34.521 --> 00:29:43.016
But we want to bring that meet me in the middle of the street vibe, if you will, to everything that we do, and that means what we call a best friend vibe.

00:29:43.016 --> 00:29:45.750
Now, does that mean that I'm going to be best friends with every client?

00:29:45.750 --> 00:29:51.228
Of course not, but what it means is I'm not going to be all polished and perfect.

00:29:51.228 --> 00:30:03.330
I'm going to share part of what I'm going through sometimes, if it, if it helps, with my clients, because if you don't have an authentic connection with somebody, you can't get any real work done.

00:30:03.330 --> 00:30:07.059
And I actually think that's true in my communications business too.

00:30:07.059 --> 00:30:08.702
I can't work with.

00:30:08.702 --> 00:30:17.565
I choose I shouldn't say I can't I choose not to work with clients who just want to gloss over and talk about, like ROI or whatever.

00:30:17.565 --> 00:30:17.990
I can't.

00:30:17.990 --> 00:30:21.580
We have to have that connection in order to get real work done.

00:30:22.150 --> 00:30:24.439
Yes, I absolutely love that.

00:30:24.439 --> 00:30:34.856
You've got me feeling all sorts of nostalgic here during today's episode, because I also I grew up on the end of a cul-de-sac and I hope that kids today are still having those experiences.

00:30:34.856 --> 00:30:38.348
I remember, you're right, it was pre-cellac and I hope that kids today are still having those experiences.

00:30:38.348 --> 00:30:39.593
I remember, you're right, it was pre-cell phone.

00:30:39.593 --> 00:30:45.958
So I remember I begged my parents for Christmas one year to have walkie-talkies, so at least instead of knocking on doors and calling home phone numbers we could at least walkie-talkie to each other.

00:30:46.358 --> 00:30:54.948
I love that, yeah, and I love the fact that here we are, you know, decades later, you and Jen are bringing that to life in your business and it's serving others.

00:30:54.948 --> 00:30:56.392
That's absolutely incredible.

00:30:56.392 --> 00:31:09.989
I want to ask you this because part of these conversations that's fun for me is not only talking to you as a subject matter expert, but also entrepreneur to entrepreneur, since you're one of us, and with your prior business experience in mind, what are some of those things?

00:31:09.989 --> 00:31:22.973
Because now you're talking about really, I'm hearing we're talking about authenticity and the personalized attention that your clients get, but I'm also thinking well, personal branding is part of that and you know customer onboarding.

00:31:22.973 --> 00:31:31.131
What are those elements or ingredients of all the work you've done up to this point that have really transitioned perfectly into what you and Jen are doing with Meet Me?

00:31:32.334 --> 00:31:55.701
Well, brian, it's funny, if I'm going to be authentic, I'll say that's actually, believe it or not, been a challenge, and what I mean by that is we started with our business wanting to do an online course and we really struggled with that brand identity and image because we were trying to be like the 10 years from now version of us at the get go.

00:31:55.761 --> 00:31:56.323
It's just a.

00:31:56.323 --> 00:31:59.615
It's like a classic beginner's mistake, right?

00:31:59.615 --> 00:32:29.083
But even with all of my marketing background, we were, I, still made the mistake because I was so excited about marketing this, and so we started trying to go online and do like Instagram and Facebook and what we really what we ended up having to do, which was the right thing, was to pull way back and go back to person to person, just in our community, run workshops, talk to people, help one person at a time, and now we're back to building.

00:32:29.083 --> 00:32:36.516
We're back to about to launch actually a beta version of a new product that we have, but it's yeah.

00:32:36.516 --> 00:32:46.261
So that's been really interesting, as I was trying to market something when really, what we're about is that what we just talked about that authentic connection, and that's in hindsight.

00:32:46.261 --> 00:32:49.344
I know now why it didn't work, but it's just.

00:32:49.344 --> 00:33:07.667
I've been thinking about this this morning business and it's going to work, and I have to just keep showing up because we've we made a decision and we're in it.

00:33:08.430 --> 00:33:19.336
Yes, I so love that because I think it's something that we hear from so many guests and I hope every listener takes it on board is that, whatever we think that our business is going to look like, don't be married to it.

00:33:19.336 --> 00:33:22.105
Be married to the commitment which you just shared with us.

00:33:22.105 --> 00:33:36.561
You and Jen are very committed to this working and serving others, but you are not committed or married to how that's going to take shape, and you're flexible in how you're going to be of service to others, and I so love and appreciate those real life insights.

00:33:36.561 --> 00:33:37.740
Listeners, here we are.

00:33:37.835 --> 00:33:45.758
Jennifer and I have been in this game for a long time, but it doesn't mean things are any easier for us or that we have any additional answers than anyone else does.

00:33:45.758 --> 00:33:51.163
You have to be experimenting and showing up and putting things into the world, so I love that perspective, jennifer.

00:33:51.163 --> 00:34:02.267
I also knew we'd be running short on time here today, but I always love asking at the end of these episodes what's that one takeaway for listeners who are sitting here thinking holy cow, jennifer, you talked about awareness.

00:34:02.267 --> 00:34:03.368
You talked about pausing.

00:34:03.368 --> 00:34:04.550
You talked about habits.

00:34:04.550 --> 00:34:11.278
You talked about all these other tools and practical tactical things that you implement with your clients.

00:34:11.278 --> 00:34:20.266
What's the one takeaway that, knowing we've got entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs listening to us all over the globe what's that one thing you hope they walk away and take action on to us all?

00:34:20.306 --> 00:34:20.949
over the globe.

00:34:20.949 --> 00:34:23.474
What's that one thing you hope they walk away and take action on?

00:34:23.474 --> 00:34:32.735
I was thinking about this, brian, for I want to cheat and do two, because I want to do one for entrepreneurs, which is this is my biggest lesson from the past two years Done is better than perfect.

00:34:32.735 --> 00:34:34.139
Just get into action.

00:34:34.139 --> 00:34:38.469
That whole just truly, truly, truly does not have to be perfect.

00:34:38.469 --> 00:34:42.726
Perfectionism is just my biggest enemy to progress.

00:34:42.726 --> 00:34:46.525
So just done is better than perfect is my new mantra.

00:34:46.525 --> 00:34:54.585
And for people out there, whether women and men, I just want to say the biggest takeaway is don't give up on yourself.

00:34:54.585 --> 00:34:55.358
You don't.

00:34:55.358 --> 00:35:02.364
If you're not feeling quite right and you're not really sure what's going on, reach out for help, whether it's a therapist, a coach, whatever.

00:35:02.364 --> 00:35:06.186
But this does not have to be your new normal.

00:35:06.186 --> 00:35:14.563
We talked about some habits and some tools today, but truly, it doesn't have to be hard and it doesn't have to be your new normal.

00:35:14.563 --> 00:35:15.264
You got this.

00:35:15.264 --> 00:35:17.623
You can get back to the best version of yourself.

00:35:18.614 --> 00:35:23.163
Yes, I so love and appreciate that advice for all of our listeners worldwide.

00:35:23.163 --> 00:35:24.182
At this point.

00:35:24.182 --> 00:35:31.782
I'm super excited for listeners who wanna go deeper into your work and, before you drop those links on us listeners, I wanna share with you that at Jennifer's website.

00:35:31.782 --> 00:35:49.505
It was a joy for me to go through the Meet Me website because you'll first of all, you'll see Jennifer and Jen right there at the top of the website when you go onto there, but you're also going to see so much of their messaging that comes not only from their own experiences but from the point of view of the people that they want to help.

00:35:49.505 --> 00:35:55.255
Whether it's real life testimonials or just the acknowledgement of what we all face in life and in business.

00:35:55.255 --> 00:35:56.418
It's relevant to all of us.

00:35:56.418 --> 00:36:01.396
You're going to find that in such a really well personalized approach on the website.

00:36:01.396 --> 00:36:04.452
So, jennifer, that's my little tease, but you drop those links on us.

00:36:04.452 --> 00:36:09.054
Where should listeners go if they want to go deeper into Meet Me and all the great work that you and Jen are up to?

00:36:09.757 --> 00:36:12.222
Well, thank you for the high praise, brian.

00:36:12.222 --> 00:36:13.485
That's so lovely to hear.

00:36:13.485 --> 00:36:17.199
Our website meetmesolutionscom.

00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:20.364
We're also on Facebook and Instagram.

00:36:20.364 --> 00:36:23.289
It's meetmefindyou On Instagram.

00:36:23.289 --> 00:36:27.246
There's a little underscore, but you can also find our social links on our website.

00:36:28.074 --> 00:36:29.940
Yes, listeners, you already know the drill.

00:36:29.940 --> 00:36:36.355
We're making it as easy as possible for you to find all those links down below in the show notes, wherever it is that you're tuning in to today's episode.

00:36:36.355 --> 00:36:41.998
The main link is meetmesolutionscom, but scroll right on down because you don't have to remember that.

00:36:41.998 --> 00:36:46.362
You can click right through to her website, as well as all the socials that Jennifer just shared with us.

00:36:46.362 --> 00:36:51.567
Otherwise, jennifer, on behalf of myself and all the listeners, thanks so much for coming on the show today.

00:36:52.536 --> 00:36:53.378
Thanks for having me.

00:36:53.378 --> 00:36:54.463
It's been a blast Brian.

00:36:55.436 --> 00:37:00.927
Hey, it's Brian here, and thanks for tuning in to yet another episode of the Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.

00:37:00.927 --> 00:37:04.945
If you haven't checked us out online, there's so much good stuff there.

00:37:04.945 --> 00:37:14.188
Check out the show's website and all the show notes that we talked about in today's episode at thewantrepreneurshowcom, and I just want to give a shout out to our amazing guests.

00:37:14.188 --> 00:37:22.980
There's a reason why we are ad free and have produced so many incredible episodes five days a week for you, and it's because our guests step up to the plate.

00:37:23.041 --> 00:37:25.025
These are not sponsored episodes.

00:37:25.025 --> 00:37:26.617
These are not infomercials.

00:37:26.617 --> 00:37:30.123
Our guests help us cover the costs of our productions.

00:37:30.123 --> 00:37:41.081
They so deeply believe in the power of getting their message out in front of you, awesome entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs, that they contribute to help us make these productions possible.

00:37:41.081 --> 00:37:49.565
So thank you to not only today's guests, but all of our guests in general, and I just want to invite you check out our website because you can send us a voicemail there.

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We also have live chat.

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If you want to interact directly with me, go to thewantrepreneurshowcom.

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Initiate a live chat.

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It's for real me, and I'm excited because I'll see you, as always every monday, wednesday, friday, saturday and sunday here on the entrepreneur to entrepreneur podcast.