849: Living with PURPOSE in life and business w/ Tanner MacIvor

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Hey, what is up?

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Welcome to this episode of the Entrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.

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As always, I'm your host, brian Lofermento, and I'll tell you what for this Mindset and Motivation Monday episode.

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We are all going to level set with each other that we all have those days.

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We all have those moments, whether those are short moments or long moments, where we say what the heck am I doing all this stuff?

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For?

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What the heck is the reason that gets me out of bed?

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Why am I even trying to start a business?

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What is it about my life that I'm hoping to accomplish?

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Well, today's guest is really going to bring all of that stuff to the surface from us and not only guide us to the point where we ask those questions, but hopefully guide us to the point where we start knowing how to find those answers.

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So let me tell you about today's guest.

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He's someone that I've been so excited to talk to.

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His name is Tanner McIver.

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10 years ago, tanner was focused on making money and having more experiences, so he went into banking to make money, and then he shifted to consulting to make money.

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While traveling, he was constantly comparing himself to his peers, as we all do.

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This is what it means to be human.

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He was chronically stressed and he was living for the weekends.

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One night he broke down and wrote down what his dream life looked like.

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After realizing his current path would not get him there, he started taking steps to align to his dream life.

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He started dating his now fiancee, kelly.

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He moved out to Montana, he switched drinking in bars with skiing and hiking, and he started on tourist coaching, where now he helps others live a purposeful life as well.

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This guy's message is super powerful, so excited for it to get us started in this week of content, so I'm not going to say anything else.

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Let's dive straight into my interview with Tanner McIver.

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All right, tanner, I'm so excited that you're here today.

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Welcome to the show.

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Thank you, I'm beyond excited.

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Thanks for having me, brian.

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Heck yeah.

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Obviously I tooted your horn a little bit to start this episode off, but I always love hearing the guests take us beyond the bio in their own words.

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Tell us who the heck is, tanner.

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How did you start doing all these cool things and give us that backstory that led to you being here?

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Yeah, thank you, and thank you for the introduction.

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Who is Tanner?

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I'm a coach.

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How did I get there?

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It was a windy road, brian.

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I went from banking to Deloitte Consulting to Optum.

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I've moved from New York City to Denver, to Montana and ultimately the road was amazing.

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There was some bumps, but I can't complain about anything because it led me to where I am now, which is a coach, helping people that have done all of the right things yet are unhappy and burnt out.

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And now I get to wake up every day doing what I love.

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So that's a little about me.

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I'm looking forward to diving in.

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Yeah, I love that, tanner, especially because I feel like in life and you have it right there in your bio about comparing ourselves to others.

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It's something that we all do from time to time and now that I'm, you know, old and grizzly and in my mid thirties, I've seen how I've matured, not only as an entrepreneur, but especially as a person, and that's something that we get better at over time or so, I think, probably better at through intention and through being disciplined about that.

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But walk us back to that, because a lot of people would look at your past life and say, well, tanner, that was the dream, you know.

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Working in consulting, you were probably taking fancy flights and staying in fancy hotels and eating at fancy restaurants, of which someone was paying for it for you.

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So that looks like the dream life outwardly.

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I was an economics and finance major.

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I know that you have a similar academic background where you were always business and career oriented, and I thought that was the dream.

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How did that dream turn into you saying there's something else that I want?

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Yeah, great question, and I think everybody sells you on that dream.

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I went to Williams College and that was the dream, right, it was banking or consulting.

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That is really where people pushed you and there are a ton of positives.

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I have a bunch of friends that are bankers and consultants and it works for a lot of people.

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I think how that wasn't necessarily the dream for me was I wasn't fulfilled.

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I looked up at my bosses and they were amazing people, but I didn't want to live their life.

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I didn't want to constantly be traveling.

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Even though the dinners were amazing, that didn't make up for being away from family.

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So I think that people sell you on that life and then you do everything you possibly can to get that life.

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And then the question is okay, do I actually want that life?

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And one day I was just doing PowerPoints, doing Excel till midnight and I broke down and I asked myself is this actually the life I wanted?

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And that realization sparked the.

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I don't think it is, but what life do I want?

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And then, from there, I started mapping out what life I wanted and that really started Entourage Coaching.

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That was really the precipice.

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I didn't know it at that point, but that's what got me towards the purposeful life that I have now.

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Yeah Well, I want to go there right off the bat.

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Let's just jump straight into it, because you mapped out what your dream life looked like.

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What did that entail?

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Were you thinking career, family, geography, cars?

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What was it when you thought about what's my dream life?

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What did that actually look like for you?

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Yeah, great question.

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I actually post my 10 years every year, so it's in my newsletter, because I want to share, and my dream life really consisted of both personal and professional, financially independent.

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I describe what that means in my 10-year goals.

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I wanted a family in 10 years and now I have an amazing fiance, kelly, and we're talking about kids and what that looks like.

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I wanted to wake up every day and love what I did.

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So there were aspects of it that I'm still working towards and there are aspects of it that I've hit.

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So it's all published.

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I'm happy to share it also if we want to link to that.

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But that it's personal, it's professional, it's all of the above.

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Brad.

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Yeah, listeners, there's an early spoiler alert for you.

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You already know you'll be able to find the links in the show notes wherever it is that you're tuning in.

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We'll talk about those all at the end.

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I love how generous you are with sharing that, tanner, and I'm also going to call out one big caveat that I love that you threw into your answer before, which was the dream life for me, and I think it's so important for us to always ask ourselves that question of the dream life for me.

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It's not anybody else's dream and nobody else has to live this life, so I better set it up for me.

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What did that look like?

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Because, tanner, I'll be totally transparent here on the air is that there are days where I question, because obviously we, as entrepreneurs, we choose a hard path.

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It's not an easy path and I would argue there are very few easy paths in life.

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But there are days where I'm just like man.

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Why couldn't I have just been happy, working a nine to five, my all my college friends, they all have a paycheck every single week, they have benefits, they have all of these things.

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What is it that makes me different?

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Where did your mind go in those moments where you seemingly accomplished the dream life for others.

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That made you realize that your dream life is different, and how did you get comfortable with that fact?

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Yeah.

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So it's all about priorities.

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So let me break down kind of the three steps that I see in crafting this life.

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The first step is realization.

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So you need to realize, wow, this life maybe isn't right for me, I am not as happy as I want to be, I don't have as much flexibility, and for some of you listening, maybe your life is awesome, that's fantastic, keep living it Like that is the best case scenario.

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You achieved it.

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But the first step is really realization.

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The second step is discovery.

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What do you want it to look like?

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And that might go against status quo, and that is okay, and there are some negatives to that and maybe some outgrowing of friend groups and different things you're doing.

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But the discovery is really what does it look like?

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And then, finally, is implementation right?

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It's creating the systems, creating the processes in order to get to that life.

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So that's the process.

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I don't know if that answered your question, brian, so we can circle back to it or I can dive into any of those three stages.

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Yeah, it does answer the question, you're right.

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It leads us right into where we're going in this conversation, because one thing that I love about the way you talk about your work is part of your job is asking questions, and I'm sure that there are questions along the way.

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So I guess we'll start with those three realization, discovery and implementation.

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What are some of those questions that kickstart each of those three processes?

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Yeah.

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So let's start all the way with realization.

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You can just ask yourself am I happy?

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Is this the life that I want to live?

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Is this the life that I want to live in 10 years?

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Will it get me to the life I want to live in 10 years?

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So those are some of the questions you can ask.

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In the realization, the discovery is pretty simple when do I want to be?

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Where do I want to live in 10 years?

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So those are some of the questions you can ask.

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In the realization, the discovery is pretty simple when do I want to be?

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Where do I want to go personally and professionally?

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Also, a quick note I joke about this with all my clients Everything I say is simple but not easy, right?

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So it's simple to have a six pack.

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You eat healthy, you go to the gym and it's ridiculously hard.

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So a lot of these things I'm going to say are simple on paper and it's hard to do.

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So for discovery, the real questions are where do I want to go?

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What do I want my personal life to look like?

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What do I want my professional life?

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How much flexibility do I really want?

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And then, once you outline that it's, what's the best way to get there?

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How can I make steps every single day and put in processes that make my life easier to get closer and closer to that vision and enjoy the journey along the way?

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Yeah, I love that, and I think the six pack analogy is just so pertinent and relevant here because, you're right, we know the exact ingredients to get there, but we complicate them along the way because we are humans and this is what we do in life.

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I want to ask you this, speaking of those complications where do we go wrong, because this stuff is so simple at its real root?

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Where is it that people get it wrong?

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Is it people aren't willing to do that introspective work to come to that realization process?

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Or do your clients, because I know you work with people from all different walks of life?

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Is it in the discovery phase, where they're just like Tanner, I have no idea what I want.

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Yeah, spoiler, most people don't know what they want, and that's okay.

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That's why we start there.

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Where do people go wrong?

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I don't know if I would use wrong as the right word and I know you didn't mean it that way, brian but I don't know if I'd use wrong as the right word and I know you didn't mean it that way, brian, but I don't know if I'd use wrong.

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I'd say where is it hard?

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And really, where it's hard is you get to choose your heart.

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Do you want it to be hard now, where you're putting in daily work which makes your life maybe amazing in 10 years, five years, whatever it is, or do you want to keep going status quo, maybe not really love what you do, do things because your parents or your friends or whoever told you that this was the right way to go, and then your heart is later?

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I think it's really choosing your heart.

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Is it now, is it later?

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And I think where people struggle is the systems and the processes to stick with it.

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I mean, I look at your podcast and I'm blown away, brian.

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I hate to break it to you.

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You're probably not an overnight success, right?

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You've been doing this for seven years, which is phenomenal and it's why you have over 800 episodes and it's why you're absolutely crushing it.

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But you had to put in systems and processes to do this day in and day out.

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And I think that is the hardest part.

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Is that small incremental gain every single day?

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Yeah, amen to that, and thank you for the kind words, tanner.

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Yes, full disclaimer for all of you tuning in here today is that Tanner is absolutely correct.

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We've been at this for many years.

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Our processes and systems have gotten better over the years.

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We had none out of the gates for like two plus years we had none of those.

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So I love the fact that you call that out, tanner, and it's an iterative process, and that's part of when we talk about the nature of the work that you do.

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Part of what makes it digestible for me is just that recognition of this is iterative.

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I don't have the answers today, I will not have the answers tomorrow, but I will be on a constant path of figuring it out.

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With that in mind, talk to us about that, because I mean you kicked off the conversation with regards to the realization phase of am I happy?

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And part of me is just like I'm happy 98% of the time, but that also is.

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You know, there are peaks and valleys throughout that entire thing.

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So to people sitting there saying, tanner, you could ask me that question every day and get a different answer.

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How do we make sense of that in a fluid world?

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Yeah, so the reason I named my company Anturas is because it means the journey in Scottish Gaelic, and the journey is what matters.

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So, yes, there are gonna be times that we are unhappy.

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We actually need unhappiness to be happy.

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We could go down that rabbit hole, but we actually need both and that's okay, and enjoying the journey along the way is really what we're trying to get after.

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So, brian, 98% I'd say great job.

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Keep it up, man, check the box.

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I think where I really like to work with people is when they're burnt out, when they're really unhappy a lot of the time and they just don't know why.

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Not sure if that answered your question, brian, but hopefully it did we're also going to go into somewhere I've never gone in this podcast history, which is a quote from 50 Cent where he said that sunny days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain.

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Joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain.

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And, tanner, you just brought up basically the same concept of we need the bad to complement the good, and obviously there's so many historical philosophical beliefs out there.

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The yin and the yang Talk to us about why that's so prevalent in the work that you do and, of course, your mindset that comes along with it.

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Yeah, the yin and the yang.

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I like that.

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So the dopamine seesaw is really where I go back and forth to is whenever we have a really great time every once in a while.

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It needs to even out right.

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It's why we get addicted to social media.

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We look at it, we love it and then we kind of have a come down from that, so that yin and the yang is chemical a lot of the time.

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And I think when I think of, okay, where do we want to be, where do we want to go, it's holistically like what do we?

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Let's paint the picture of personally that we want to be at and along the way there's going to be ups and downs.

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When we get to that beautiful picture, there's going to be ups and downs and we can enjoy the ups and downs.

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We can constantly be present and we can constantly, I like to say, embrace boredom, embrace tough times, and that is a common theme also across my coaching.

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Yeah, tanner, I'll tell you what.

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When I have these conversations with amazing entrepreneurs like you, where my head goes because I love language, I love words, and the word that keeps popping out the more you say it is, and you keep saying I can love this and that we can do this, and that when we get to where we think we want to go, it will also still be hard.

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It's always, and All of these things are coexisting.

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Talk to me about the way that that shows up, because I would say that's counter to the way that, societally, we're really meant to believe the world works is that this is either good or bad, this is this or that.

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Clearly, you have a different approach and it's so deeply ingrained in the way that you think about it that I don't know if you're conscious of it or not, but it's so shows up in the way you talk about these things publicly.

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How does that factor into your mindset?

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No, that's interesting.

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I don't know if I was aware of it, but I agree with it.

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I think one thing to note is I'm imagining a lot of people listening want to become entrepreneurs, but you don't have to become an entrepreneur to be happy.

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We have a bunch of clients that love aspects of their job, and it's okay.

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Amazing, if you don't love, maybe, your job as a whole.

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Is there something in your job that we can double down on?

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Is there a passion outside of your job that we can double down on, that we can double down on?

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Is there a passion outside of your job that we can double down on?

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So I think life isn't always going to be perfect, but we can constantly improve, we can constantly try to become happier, we can constantly try to become better people and give back more, and I think you can do that whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're working in consulting or banking or wherever you are, at whatever stage, and I think that that yin and yang then becomes pretty prevalent.

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Yeah, I think that's a really powerful point, tanner, and maybe one that people don't expect to hear on an entrepreneurial or a business minded show, but I think it is so important.

00:16:34.687 --> 00:16:56.335
Personally, I've never actually talked about this on the air or even talked about it with anyone else, tanner, but part of what I believe makes wantrepreneurs wantrepreneurs and not entrepreneurs is because a lot of wantrepreneurs find that happiness in the growth-minded aspects of entrepreneurship, where they love to learn new things, they love to dive into new tools, and those are the things that stroke their minds.

00:16:56.335 --> 00:17:01.567
Whether that fulfillment comes in their job or not, it's something that a lot of them do on the side.

00:17:01.567 --> 00:17:09.142
So I guess that leads me to ask you about that concept, which is a lot of people hope that their work is what gives them fulfillment.

00:17:09.201 --> 00:17:10.726
I've met so many people along the years.

00:17:10.726 --> 00:17:16.396
Look at our parents' generation, where they weren't as demanding on their career as maybe our generation is.

00:17:16.396 --> 00:17:20.865
They were just like no, I do this between nine to five, but I love playing with my kids.

00:17:20.865 --> 00:17:22.630
I love going to my kids' soccer practice.

00:17:22.630 --> 00:17:25.678
They had different priorities, which is a word you've already used here today.

00:17:25.678 --> 00:17:29.536
Talk to us about, in your perspective, having worked with different people.

00:17:29.536 --> 00:17:35.656
Where can those sources of happiness come from if it doesn't have to come from our business or our job?

00:17:38.340 --> 00:17:48.686
I grapple with this question a lot because I'm fortunate to have purpose and passion in my job and I don't know if everybody should have that or if there is a middle ground.

00:17:48.686 --> 00:17:54.507
So I think where I kind of my examples goes to is Copenhagen, in Denmark.

00:17:54.507 --> 00:18:01.993
I studied there and they, I think they work 32 hours a week and they absolutely love their life.

00:18:01.993 --> 00:18:03.759
They're the happiest country in the world.

00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:13.164
So I think you can find whether it's working on an entrepreneurial something outside of work, whether it's working on something within work.

00:18:13.164 --> 00:18:19.145
So when I was part of Deloitte Consulting, I was on the council that focused on business analyst experience.

00:18:19.145 --> 00:18:21.798
When I was at Optum, I was on what they called the culture committee.

00:18:21.798 --> 00:18:27.696
So there were things in work that I could coach and mentor and be mentored and that's what I loved.

00:18:27.696 --> 00:18:30.644
So I think you can find it outside of work.

00:18:30.644 --> 00:18:33.538
I think you can find little pockets in work.

00:18:33.538 --> 00:18:42.476
I think where the burnout comes is when your work starts taking over your life and there are no pockets that give you happiness.

00:18:43.218 --> 00:18:44.781
Yeah, all right, well then we got to go there.

00:18:44.781 --> 00:18:46.957
We keep talking about that B word of burnout.

00:18:46.957 --> 00:18:54.481
Let's talk burnout, Tanner, cause I know that it's the catalyst that sparks a lot of people to begin this process and go deeper into the work that you do.

00:18:54.481 --> 00:18:57.048
How does burnout creep up on us?

00:18:57.048 --> 00:18:59.097
Cause it's not something that happens overnight.

00:18:59.097 --> 00:19:04.506
What are those factors that lead to burnout and, most importantly, how can we curtail those factors?

00:19:06.327 --> 00:19:08.070
Yeah, burnout's a tricky one.

00:19:08.070 --> 00:19:25.699
I think it's happening more and more, and I think some of the factors are we get into something because somebody else told us that it's the right thing to do, or that's the definition of success, or that's the definition of success.

00:19:25.699 --> 00:19:27.247
I think expectations and looking around at others is a huge cause of burnout.

00:19:27.247 --> 00:19:28.070
Right, we have social media right now.

00:19:28.070 --> 00:19:39.067
When we go on social media, we look at all these perfectly curated lives and we say, oh my gosh, my life should be that way, or that person's making this much money, or this person's traveling, or whatever it is.

00:19:39.067 --> 00:19:50.181
I think that constant comparison to others leads us to say, oh, all I'm doing is working, my life is terrible, I'm not making enough money, I don't have enough things, which then can lead to burnout.

00:19:50.181 --> 00:19:53.628
But I think how we can get over burnout?

00:19:53.628 --> 00:19:59.278
I always go back to the change formula, and it actually has kind of all three of the steps that we've talked about already.

00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:03.096
The change formula is dissatisfaction times.

00:20:03.096 --> 00:20:06.962
Vision plus first steps needs to be greater than resistance.

00:20:06.962 --> 00:20:10.528
So dissatisfied, you're burnt out.

00:20:10.528 --> 00:20:12.521
Oh my gosh, this is where we are.

00:20:12.521 --> 00:20:13.385
We've admitted it.

00:20:13.385 --> 00:20:14.529
We don't know how to change.

00:20:14.529 --> 00:20:24.057
Well, how we change is we craft the vision we identify, the first steps and all of those things have to be greater than resistance, which comes in so many different forms.

00:20:24.057 --> 00:20:31.281
Resistance is my parents will be upset with me, my friends won't accept me, it's hard, I don't know where to go.

00:20:31.281 --> 00:20:33.824
Resistance will pop its ugly head everywhere.

00:20:33.824 --> 00:20:39.548
But really, to get over burnout, those are kind of the three factors we need are kind of the three factors we need.

00:20:40.449 --> 00:20:41.289
Yeah, I love that.

00:20:41.289 --> 00:20:45.472
I've actually never heard that formula before, so I love the way that you highlight that for us here today.

00:20:45.472 --> 00:20:52.001
You keep using also that word hard and clearly it's something that you embrace in your personal and your professional life.

00:20:52.001 --> 00:21:03.083
Talk to us about that, because, whether it's tied in with resistance or just, things are hard in life and that's a fact of any endeavor that we embark upon, whether it's business, whether it's fitness, whether it's learning a new language.

00:21:03.083 --> 00:21:05.087
Everything's going to be hard along the way.

00:21:05.087 --> 00:21:11.983
How do you personally speaking to Tanner not just the entrepreneur, but the person how do you embrace those moments of hard?

00:21:11.983 --> 00:21:19.165
Because it's easy for us to sit here on a podcast episode and talk about it, but in the very moments that's where it's important to have that resilient mindset.

00:21:22.734 --> 00:21:23.375
So what's that look like for you?

00:21:23.375 --> 00:21:31.680
Yeah, I think we have a lot of gurus out there that just say suck it up and just do it and use willpower and everything will be all right.

00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:34.203
And willpower is fleeting.

00:21:34.203 --> 00:21:42.385
So how I kind of deal with hard is really the James Clear model of I make it as easy as possible.

00:21:42.385 --> 00:21:43.949
I set up systems.

00:21:43.949 --> 00:21:52.218
So for me, my focus is just make a little bit of progress in the areas that are important to me every single day.

00:21:52.218 --> 00:21:58.019
I stole this from Marshall Goldsmith, but I have someone call me every day and ask me five questions.

00:21:58.019 --> 00:22:10.362
They rotate every quarter, depending on what I'm focused on, and that's to make sure that every single day, day, I'm just focused on making progress in the areas that I've decided are important to me, and that's how I do it.

00:22:10.362 --> 00:22:19.375
I try to focus on daily reminders and then systems that can make my life easier, and sometimes it's hard and you just have to push through.

00:22:19.978 --> 00:22:20.922
Yeah, I love that.

00:22:20.922 --> 00:22:26.284
I'll tell you what, tanner, I feel like we throw that word around so frequently of systems, and it takes all different shapes and sizes.

00:22:26.284 --> 00:22:28.502
A lot of us you and I are obviously business-minded.

00:22:28.502 --> 00:22:44.545
We think about systems and processes within the terms of business, but you gave us one real-life example of someone calling you every single day and asking you five poignant questions what types of systems can support us in these endeavors as we want to lead a more purposeful life?

00:22:44.545 --> 00:22:47.936
Because people might be thinking gosh, tanner, systems, that's just more work that I'm going to have to do.

00:22:47.936 --> 00:22:49.340
What do those systems look like?

00:22:51.244 --> 00:22:53.297
Yeah, I'm going to back up one second.

00:22:53.297 --> 00:22:55.988
Before we go to systems, you need to know where you're going first.

00:22:55.988 --> 00:23:07.758
I know I keep reiterating this, but that is key, because if you set up systems to do things that you ultimately don't want to do or won't get you to where you want to be, well, then they're not getting you to where you want to go.

00:23:07.758 --> 00:23:14.801
So once we know where we want to go, some of the systems that I try to talk with people about are accountability partners.

00:23:14.801 --> 00:23:19.578
If coaching isn't for everyone, if you can't afford a coach, you don't want a coach.

00:23:19.578 --> 00:23:20.760
Well, ask a friend.

00:23:20.760 --> 00:23:23.547
Hey, every day, every week, can we text?

00:23:23.547 --> 00:23:24.228
How does this look?

00:23:24.228 --> 00:23:24.895
How does that look?

00:23:24.895 --> 00:23:26.640
Are you making progress on this?

00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:33.963
So that's an easy system that we can implement Little reminders on your desk of what's important For me.

00:23:33.963 --> 00:23:37.739
I have one that sits right next to me every day that says enjoy the passage of time.

00:23:37.739 --> 00:23:42.088
So it's just these little things that can make our life a little easier.

00:23:42.088 --> 00:23:44.137
Those are a couple examples.

00:23:45.059 --> 00:23:48.307
Yeah, I love those examples, especially because they are actionable.

00:23:48.307 --> 00:23:55.541
Whether you pointed it out, whether we hire someone or not, these are all things that are accessible to each of us every single day of our lives.

00:23:55.541 --> 00:24:01.944
But it starts with that choice, and that's why I love that, within your work, you talk about a purposeful life.

00:24:01.944 --> 00:24:06.778
Talk to us about that messaging, tanner, because I know that nothing in your business has been by mistake.

00:24:06.778 --> 00:24:09.065
These are all intentional choices that you've made along the way.

00:24:09.065 --> 00:24:10.297
What is it about?

00:24:10.297 --> 00:24:17.597
A lot of people will say I want to help you lead a more rewarding life, a more happy life, but for you, it's all about a more purposeful life.

00:24:17.597 --> 00:24:19.279
Why is that your messaging?

00:24:19.279 --> 00:24:21.061
Why is that at the root of everything you do?

00:24:23.463 --> 00:24:37.257
I ultimately think purpose brings happiness, brings giving back, brings just a lot of good, and that's why I focus on purpose.

00:24:37.257 --> 00:24:41.806
I think if you can have a mission that you absolutely love and something you stand behind, everything else falls into place.

00:24:41.806 --> 00:24:43.249
So that's the focus on purpose for me.

00:24:44.496 --> 00:24:45.838
Yeah, I love that overview.

00:24:45.838 --> 00:25:00.816
I come back to the resistance part of what you shared with us, because I feel like all of these things they sound good, like we're all sold on them at a really surface level, but where we start complicating things is resistance, which could be external.

00:25:00.816 --> 00:25:11.423
But it also could be external, it also could be internal and along those lines it's something you and I both teased at the very top of today's episode is that notion of comparison is the thief of joy.

00:25:11.423 --> 00:25:24.586
So, talking about that, because I just know, knowing our listeners as well as I do, that is one focal point of so much resistance, especially within the world of entrepreneurship, because financially speaking, we don't have that quote unquote same stability.

00:25:24.586 --> 00:25:33.219
I would argue this very much, but we don't have that perceived stability that maybe a nine to five job has, and that's one way that we compare ourselves to others.

00:25:33.219 --> 00:25:35.263
Talk to us about comparison, tanner.

00:25:35.263 --> 00:25:36.907
One, why do we do it?

00:25:36.907 --> 00:25:38.858
And two, how the heck do we stop doing it?

00:25:41.946 --> 00:25:44.452
Great question why do we do it?

00:25:44.452 --> 00:25:47.962
Because we're humans really is what it comes down to.

00:25:47.962 --> 00:25:49.969
How do we stop doing it?

00:25:49.969 --> 00:25:52.076
I think there's a couple things we can do.

00:25:52.637 --> 00:25:56.308
For me, a big source of comparison is social media.

00:25:56.308 --> 00:26:12.016
So it's how can I use social media as a tool instead of as a crutch and what I mean by a crutch is when I'm bored, pull out my phone to scroll through, or when I am sitting in the waiting room, I'll just have something to do, right?

00:26:12.016 --> 00:26:32.079
So, being really intentional with our social media use and also who we follow, right, we got to remember all of these people are crafting perfect lives and there's a bunch of people out there that are trying to share great messages, and curating our news feed to help with those people or to have those people show up a little more is crucial.

00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:35.891
So I think, for comparison, the first thing is social media.

00:26:35.891 --> 00:26:48.709
Really, look at your social media usage, aligning your own values and defining that purposeful life, and you start living that purposeful life.

00:26:48.709 --> 00:26:51.277
You start getting the confidence to align with your values.

00:26:51.277 --> 00:27:01.453
You stop comparing yourself to other people who maybe don't have the same values, because you know the direction you're headed and that confidence can totally change your life.

00:27:02.135 --> 00:27:03.319
Yeah, really well said, tanner.

00:27:03.319 --> 00:27:04.442
I'm going to echo that.

00:27:04.442 --> 00:27:10.313
It's not only because we're humans, but also throwing social media into this conversation is so important.

00:27:10.313 --> 00:27:13.208
I feel like this is one area, tanner, especially our generation.

00:27:13.208 --> 00:27:29.554
We're not exactly mindful of the way we use social media, and it's never in history have we constantly been shown here's what this other person has, here's what this other person has, and so it's only natural that as we're exposed to it more, that we think about it more, it takes up more real estate in our mind.

00:27:29.574 --> 00:27:31.444
So I love the fact that you called that out.

00:27:31.444 --> 00:27:47.192
I want to ask you about this, because I feel like we do so mindlessly, do so many things societally, culturally, in our own lives, that it may not always strike people to say I want to reach out to a coach like Tanner, I want to actually work with someone in living a more purposeful life.

00:27:47.192 --> 00:27:53.749
What is that catalyst in the cases that you've seen for people who dive in and say, tanner, let's do this, let's make a change in my life.

00:27:53.749 --> 00:27:57.328
What's that defining moment or catalyst for them to make that decision?

00:27:59.615 --> 00:28:01.561
Yeah, I think it's a little different for everyone.

00:28:01.561 --> 00:28:11.288
For me so I work with the coach as well For me it was that breaking point, doing my PowerPoint at one or two in the morning and realizing what the heck is going on.

00:28:11.288 --> 00:28:18.073
For other people, it's a friend tapping them on the shoulder and saying, hey, maybe you should talk to this person.

00:28:18.073 --> 00:28:25.366
For other people, it's just following along and hearing the messaging and realizing, oh my gosh, I want this purposeful life.

00:28:25.366 --> 00:28:26.621
How do I do that?

00:28:26.621 --> 00:28:29.930
So I think the catalyst is a little different for everyone.

00:28:29.930 --> 00:28:32.377
I'll do a.

00:28:32.377 --> 00:28:36.767
I was going to wait till the end on this, brian, but I'll give a little spoiler ahead.

00:28:36.767 --> 00:28:45.631
If you are someone who is on the fence and you don't know if you should reach out, you don't know about coaching.

00:28:45.631 --> 00:28:51.673
What I'm going to do is I will offer 10 of your listeners a free coaching session.

00:28:51.673 --> 00:29:02.163
If they email or they LinkedIn message me entrepreneur to entrepreneur I will sit down, we'll have an amazing session and it'll be free of charge.

00:29:02.826 --> 00:29:03.125
Dang.

00:29:03.125 --> 00:29:04.970
I'm not going to lie, that is absolutely epic.

00:29:04.970 --> 00:29:06.713
Tanner, that is super generous.

00:29:06.713 --> 00:29:12.665
We have a lot of guests who come on and they're generous, but 10 free coaching sessions for different listeners is an incredible offer.

00:29:12.665 --> 00:29:16.929
Listeners, you already know the links are gonna be down in the show notes Total spoiler alert.

00:29:16.929 --> 00:29:18.646
So we'll talk about that in a few minutes as well.

00:29:18.646 --> 00:29:23.806
But even more broadly than that, tanner, I wanna ask because for want to ask is for a lot of people even that first step.

00:29:23.806 --> 00:29:36.020
You talk about first steps being part of the antidote of our current situations and taking us to a new reality and a new future what is working with a coach?

00:29:36.040 --> 00:29:39.708
even look like I feel like that's probably scary for people who have never experienced it.

00:29:39.708 --> 00:29:45.823
Yeah, so every every coach is different, so find one that really that you really vibe with and that you like their model.

00:29:45.823 --> 00:29:52.068
But simply kind of what it looks like is we start out in this process, right?

00:29:52.068 --> 00:29:54.411
This is simple, not easy.

00:29:54.411 --> 00:29:56.393
We figure out where you want to go.

00:29:56.393 --> 00:30:00.037
I can help you get there, but you need to tell me where you actually want to go.

00:30:00.037 --> 00:30:02.821
And then we work together.

00:30:02.821 --> 00:30:14.549
We set 10 year, one year and then quarterly goals and every single quarter we set very clear, smart goals and we work together weekly, biweekly.

00:30:14.549 --> 00:30:22.972
I have a daily accountability program and we just slowly chip away and we get closer to those goals each and every day.

00:30:23.740 --> 00:30:24.726
Yeah, I love that.

00:30:24.726 --> 00:30:37.382
Tanner, as we come towards the end of this conversation here today, what I always cherish is not only talking to our guests as subject matter experts which you are in your own field, as all of our guests are but also recognizing that you're one of us.

00:30:37.382 --> 00:30:38.727
You're a fellow entrepreneur.

00:30:38.727 --> 00:30:56.172
So, with your entrepreneurial hat on, all of our listeners, in one way or another, are on their entrepreneurial journey, some far ahead of others in monetary and growth terms as compared to others, but we're all continuously on that journey with regards to our businesses, our mindsets, everything that goes behind it.

00:30:56.172 --> 00:30:59.567
With that entrepreneurial hat on, what are some of those things?

00:30:59.567 --> 00:31:02.424
Looking backwards, that you've had an accomplished career.

00:31:02.424 --> 00:31:04.854
You've made it in fields that people always dream of.

00:31:04.854 --> 00:31:07.702
What's unique about the entrepreneurial journey?

00:31:07.702 --> 00:31:11.673
As it presents mindset challenges and obstacles for us to overcome.

00:31:14.401 --> 00:31:16.865
Yeah, there's a bunch of unique things.

00:31:16.865 --> 00:31:21.732
A couple that come to mind is working alone is hard.

00:31:21.732 --> 00:31:29.127
So I know people that have co-founders and that maybe takes a little bit of the burden but also comes with some downsides.

00:31:29.127 --> 00:31:34.345
I think working alone, constantly motivating yourself I have a coach so that helps.

00:31:34.345 --> 00:31:43.567
But day in and day out, constantly motivating yourself is difficult and you need to have yes, you guessed it systems and processes in order to do it.

00:31:43.567 --> 00:31:50.905
And besides that, the thing that I love the most is freedom of my schedule.

00:31:50.905 --> 00:32:00.655
Even if I work more hours, which probably right around the same as consulting, I get to decide what hours it is.

00:32:00.655 --> 00:32:11.029
So if it is a nice sunny day or a beautiful snow day on a Tuesday, then I can take off the afternoon and do that and make up the work somewhere else.

00:32:11.029 --> 00:32:14.990
So I think there are cons but also a ton of pros.

00:32:14.990 --> 00:32:18.566
So it's really priorities what are you looking for in your life?

00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:27.894
Yeah, I love the way you answer that, tanner, because when you said you know if it's a beautiful snowy day, where my head immediately went was I was like, oh great, a great excuse to work 10 hours that day.

00:32:27.894 --> 00:32:29.527
And you said the exact opposite.

00:32:29.527 --> 00:32:34.559
So it goes to show our climate preferences between Montana and Florida here today.

00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:44.055
But I genuinely do love that, because so many of your answers here today when we talk about living a more purposeful life, you do keep coming back to those systems and processes.

00:32:44.055 --> 00:32:52.507
You do keep coming back to those systems and processes which, if we're just I mean it's, it's right there in the word of purposeful is that if we're just thinking, these things will resolve themselves or take care of themselves.

00:32:52.507 --> 00:32:57.692
They're not, so we need to set ourselves up, just like we do in business, with processes and systems in life.

00:32:57.692 --> 00:32:59.077
So I really love that.

00:32:59.077 --> 00:33:01.300
It really illuminates the power of coaching.

00:33:01.361 --> 00:33:07.625
And for my final question in these episodes I never know where guests are going to take it, and for you especially, I don't know where you're going to take it.

00:33:07.625 --> 00:33:13.089
Because that is, what's that one takeaway, what's the one action For listeners who tuned in here today?

00:33:13.089 --> 00:33:22.438
You dropped so many important questions for us to ask ourselves you dropped so many important insights for us to practically implement in our own lives and in our own growth journeys.

00:33:22.438 --> 00:33:32.387
Lives and in our own growth journeys, what's that one thing that you hope everyone walks away from today's episode and says you know what Tanner made me think about this, or Tanner encouraged me to actually do this and it's time that I focus on it.

00:33:34.594 --> 00:33:42.272
You're killing me, making me drop it down to only one thing, but if I'm going to do one thing, it'll be going back to the beginning.

00:33:42.272 --> 00:33:47.269
The first step Write down where you want to go.

00:33:47.269 --> 00:33:56.721
A goal isn't a goal until it's written down, and the timelines that I like are 10 year, in one year, 10 years far enough in the future.

00:33:56.721 --> 00:33:58.685
Where it's your North star, it's where you're going.

00:33:58.685 --> 00:34:02.482
The road will be windy, but you'll at least have a North star.

00:34:02.482 --> 00:34:07.032
One year is close enough where you can start chopping it down into pieces and actually getting to it.

00:34:07.032 --> 00:34:15.829
So write down right now, in 10 years, where do you want to be, and in one year, what can you do to get closer to that?

00:34:16.659 --> 00:34:19.827
Yeah, really powerful, and that's why I put you in a box.

00:34:19.827 --> 00:34:25.708
I don't put you in a box in these conversations until the very end, tanner, and you absolutely crush it because the goodness comes out.

00:34:25.708 --> 00:34:34.833
It really forces you, as the guest, to impart all of your brilliance into one action, which then makes it super actionable and intentional for our listeners.

00:34:34.833 --> 00:34:40.398
So listeners, tanner, laid a big action for us here at the end of today's session, so I absolutely love that challenge.

00:34:40.398 --> 00:34:46.570
It's something I'm personally going to do and, tanner, I know that it's a natural segue into people who want to go deeper into your work.

00:34:46.570 --> 00:34:48.132
Drop those links on us.

00:34:48.132 --> 00:34:49.835
Where should listeners go from here?

00:34:51.780 --> 00:34:52.422
Thanks, brian.

00:34:52.422 --> 00:34:56.992
So my most active social channel is LinkedIn, so definitely follow along on LinkedIn.

00:34:56.992 --> 00:35:03.411
The other place to go is on turascoachingcom and then, finally, my weekly newsletter.

00:35:03.411 --> 00:35:11.949
I have that on both LinkedIn and on my website, so feel free to subscribe and remember 10 people free coaching session.

00:35:11.949 --> 00:35:13.485
Just reach out to me on LinkedIn.

00:35:14.141 --> 00:35:16.081
Yes, super generous Listeners.

00:35:16.081 --> 00:35:17.045
You already know the drill.

00:35:17.045 --> 00:35:21.760
You'll find those links down below in the show notes, wherever it is that you're tuning into today's episode.

00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:24.750
I'm also personally subscribing to Tanner's newsletter.

00:35:24.750 --> 00:35:33.347
This is a brilliant guy who's doing really intentional and purposeful work to make the world a better place by making our lives better and more purposeful.

00:35:33.347 --> 00:35:36.021
So if you want to get more goodness from Tanner, definitely go down.

00:35:36.021 --> 00:35:37.746
Check those links in the show notes.

00:35:37.746 --> 00:35:42.806
Otherwise, tanner, on behalf of myself and all the listeners, thanks so much for coming on the show today.

00:35:44.090 --> 00:35:45.172
Thanks, brian, I appreciate it.

00:35:47.021 --> 00:35:47.463
I had a blast.

00:35:47.463 --> 00:35:52.460
Hey, it's Brian here, and thanks for tuning in to yet another episode of the Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.

00:35:52.460 --> 00:35:56.579
If you haven't checked us out online, there's so much good stuff there.

00:35:56.579 --> 00:36:03.074
Check out the show's website and all the show notes that we talked about in today's episode at thewantrepreneurshowcom.

00:36:03.074 --> 00:36:07.425
And I just want to give a shout out to our amazing guests.

00:36:07.425 --> 00:36:14.650
There's a reason why we are ad free and have produced so many incredible episodes five days a week for you, and it's because our guests step up to the plate.

00:36:14.710 --> 00:36:16.682
These are not sponsored episodes.

00:36:16.682 --> 00:36:18.286
These are not infomercials.

00:36:18.286 --> 00:36:21.780
Our guests help us cover the costs of our productions.

00:36:21.780 --> 00:36:32.724
They so deeply believe in the power of getting their message out in front of you, awesome wantrepreneurs and entrepreneurs, that they contribute to help us make these productions possible.

00:36:32.724 --> 00:36:41.211
So thank you to not only today's guests, but all of our guests in general, and I just want to invite you check out our website because you can send us a voicemail there.

00:36:41.211 --> 00:36:42.561
We also have live chat.

00:36:42.561 --> 00:36:47.188
If you want to interact directly with me, go to the wantrepreneurshowcom.

00:36:47.188 --> 00:36:48.590
Initiate a live chat.

00:36:48.590 --> 00:36:58.012
It's for real me, and I'm excited because I'll see you, as always, every Monday, wednesday, friday, saturday and Sunday here on the Wantrepreneur to Entrepreneur podcast.